3 months of Olivia!

You can read previous updates here:

Olivia was 12 weeks old last Friday and will be 3 months old on Saturday.

Ironically enough, I started typing up this blog post while she is napping on me in the boba carrier after a VERY crappy night of sleep the night before and a very fussy day on Wednesday. Probably one of the worst we’ve had. On Tuesday night little miss was up every 1.5 hours and I got around 4 hours of sleep. Wednesday night was a bit better though and I’m finishing up typing this blog post on Thursday evening so we’ll see how Thursday night goes 🙂

Her adorable pouty face 🙂

So, since we last chatted at Olivia’s 10 week update she has once again changed so much! I was just reading through it and sadly her sleep has actually gotten worse, whomp whomp! Olivia was an absolutely amazing newborn sleeper. She slept 4 hours in a row from the time she was born and slept 6 hours straight when she was 4 weeks old, but over the last few weeks her night time sleep has really been on the decline. I would say now she’s averaging more like 3.5 – 4 hour stretches on the regular with the occasional 5 – 5.5 hour stretch thrown in. I can’t even remember the last time she slept for 6 hours straight! And after the first longer stretch she’s up between every 1.5 – 2.5 hours. While we plan to sleep train, I believe 12 weeks is too young for sleep training so for right now I am trying to soothe her back to sleep in other ways than by feeding her as at 3 months old and almost 14 lbs she really does not need to eat every 1.5 – 2 hours overnight anymore. Starting with the least intervention (shushing her and not touching her) all the way up to picking her up and rocking her back to sleep. I lay her down drowsy but awake as much as I can but at night I just kind of want to put her in a deep sleep and be done with it so it’s hard!

Right now nighttime sleep is ~8pm to ~8am with anywhere from 2-5 wake ups in the 12 hour period (would love to get it consistently down to 2!) I am working on moving her bedtime back a bit to ~7:30pm. We don’t want it any earlier than that or else she would not be able to see Eric when he gets home from work.

Olivia sleeps in the crib in her own room now but is still sleeping in the baby nest my grandma made. She wears the Love to Dream 50/50 swaddle for night sleeping and is still being swaddled up during daytime naps, though she almost always breaks her little hands free. In the photo below I really didn’t mind that she’d broken her hand free since she was using it to hold her pacifier in 😉 Saves mommy from replacing it multiple times!

I am still following a schedule of trying to get her down for a nap ever 1.5 hours of awake time. Her naps are actually pretty great. Almost all of her naps are in her crib and she will usually have one long nap of 1.5 – 2 hours per day. The other naps are in the 45 minute range. She usually still has one nap per day where I am baby wearing her.

Over the last couple of weeks Olivia has started smiling SO much. She also has started really interacting with us. For example, the other day I was holding her on my lap facing me after she ate and she would smile and make a little grunt and I would throw my head back and laugh, as soon as I brought my face back down and made eye contact with her she would do it again. I even tested her and kept my head back longer and she didn’t make the smile/noise again until I looked at her. So cute.

She is also reaching and grabbing for more and more of her toys and kicking her little feet like crazy! I am sure she is going to be grabbing her feet with her hands very soon.

Two big milestone things that happened over the last couple of weeks is Olivia rolled from her tummy onto her back twice (both times when naked – she only seems to enjoy tummy time if she is naked ha ha) and she also laughed for the first time when I went to get her up after her afternoon nap the other day. It was hands down the most amazing thing I have witnessed so far as a parent. Baby giggles are THE BEST.

She has outgrown her baby bathtub and so far baths in the big tub have not been her favourite. We’re going to keep trying though and hopefully soon she will love baths in the big tub just as much as she loved baths in her baby bath. Stay tuned!

Also, Olivia had her first two visits to the chiropractor! She didn’t really like the adjustments themselves very much BUT they did help her go poop after 2 days of being constipated. I know breastfed babies can go several days without pooping, but I just don’t think that can be very comfortable and I think she was quite uncomfortable based on how she was acting so I’m glad the chiropractor got things moving.

I plan to write a separate post about maternity leave and how being at home has been for me mentally and emotionally, however I will say that even though some days are very very hard, and I struggle with the lack of structure, I am still incredibly grateful for the 12 months of (partially paid!) maternity leave I get. I literally could not even fathom being back at work right now with our current sleep and also I couldn’t imagine having her in daycare full time right now. I am so grateful I get this very special time with my girl.

Olivia weighed 13 lbs 6.4oz just after hitting 12 weeks. She was in the 97th percentile when born but has now seemed to even out to a more ‘average’ size for her age.

She is one well accessorized babe thanks to her crafty Great-Grandma (GG). Shoes, hat and bib all courtesy of GG. 

She is an absolute joy and lights up our life. No matter how hard of a day we have, I never ever forget how lucky we are to have her. We love her so very much!


Our Infertility Story

I tried to write this blog post several times over the last 10ish months and also wrote it in my head at least a million times. But I just couldn’t bring myself to share it until I had my baby in my arms. A part of me still didn’t believe that we were really getting a baby after all we went through even after seeing her on the ultrasound machine and feeling her move. Even as my belly grew bigger and bigger and bigger. Even when I went on maternity leave from work for a year.

But now I’ve had a sweet sweet baby girl in my arms for 12 weeks and sometimes I still have to squeeze my eyes shut super tight and wonder if this is real or not. But I finally feel ready to share this story. 

And, today (February 19) is also the one year anniversary of our IUI procedure which gave us Olivia, so it seemed like the right day to finally share this. 


In January 2015, after 10 years, I stopped taking birth control. We weren’t quite ready to start trying for our family yet, but I wanted my body to get ready. As some of you may remember we went on an amazing trip to Maui in April 2015 and that is when we officially started trying.

Since stopping my birth control in January I hadn’t had a cycle. However, we knew that sometimes it takes the body time to get regulated, especially after so long on birth control. We were trying to be patient. In May of that year I started having other symptoms – terrible hot flashes and night sweats. Basically like I was going through menopause. It was awful.

After multiple visits to my family doctor and blood tests to try and figure out what was going on I was referred to an OBGYN in the fall of 2015. The OB sent me for MORE blood tests and in November 2015 I was given the diagnosis of Premature Ovarian Failure (POF) and referred to the fertility clinic in Kelowna. The way they come up with this diagnosis is based on hormone levels. My FSH (Follicle Stimulating Hormone) and LH (Luteinizing Hormone) levels were at post-menopausal levels.

We were still living in Kamloops at this point so this clinic was about a 2 – 2.5 hour drive away from us. We were referred in November 2015 and had our first appointment at the end of January 2016, at that point they tested my AMH (Anti-Mullerin Hormone) level, which gives an estimate of remaining egg supply. A normal range is 1.5-4 and my number was 0.08. Translation: at the ripe ‘old’ age of 27 I had very, very, very few eggs.

The recommendation from the fertility clinic was to move directly to donor eggs. They didn’t believe there was any point in even trying with my own eggs.

I’m sure you can imagine how devastating this news was. We decided to take a few months to process. Only a month after this appointment an amazing career opportunity was presented to me and we decided to make a big move. The fertility stuff was placed on the back burner for awhile.

During the summer of 2016 we were finally ready to start trying and I started my first cycle of medications with the goal of trying an IUI. After 6 days of injections my hormone levels indicated that nothing was happening so we canceled the cycle. Well, 12 days after my last injection my body was showing signs of ovulation and I got blood work done and sure enough the tests indicated my body was recruiting follicles and about to ovulate.

This seemed promising so we headed into another round of medications right off that cycle. However, my doctor was pretty sure the high estrogen / cycle starting so late after stopping the medications was just a coincidence. And sure enough, after another round of medications my estrogen was still super low and our second cycle was canceled.

At this point we decided to take a break and regroup. I requested a referral to a clinic in Vancouver. The Medical Director at this clinic is one of the most renowned IVF doctors in Canada. I was so excited and felt sure she would be able to help me. I was putting all my eggs in one basket (pun intended).

After waiting over the month for a phone consult I ended up devastated. Once she heard my very high FSH numbers I was basically written off. I was told that no amount of drugs could make my body make an egg and when I told her about success stories I had read and heard about online she said they were hard to believe… I remember I ended that call feeling so defeated.

This was in early October and I spent about a month moping. Mid-November I had a skype appointment with my old doctor from Kelowna and they agreed to try one round of IVF with me. It would begin in February as I wanted to spend the next 3 months taking my vitamins and getting my body as healthy as possible. I have a whole list of vitamins and supplements I was taking daily after doing lots and lots of research. I won’t list them all here but if anyone reading this post is in a similar situation and wants to know just leave me a comment and I’ll email you directly 🙂

I tried to put the infertility stuff we were dealing with out of my mind for those three months and just enjoy life. In December we traveled to Kauai, Hawaii for Christmas. While it was a wonderful holiday it was definitely tainted with sadness. I had decided that I would make this one last attempt to get pregnant with my own eggs and if it didn’t work I would spend the rest of 2017 saving money and getting in the mindset to move forward with donor eggs.

When we returned from Kauai I went on the Whole 30 program (to this day I have no clue if this had anything to do with us conceiving or not, but I think it’s important to note that I followed Whole30 strictly from January 9 – February 9, 2017). On January 24, out of the blue, I got a cycle on my own.

After 11.5 days of injecting myself with hormone medication four times per day my estrogen was still extremely low and the cycle was canceled. I was heartbroken but ready to move on. I did ask to go for follow-up blood work one week later just to see what was happening considering what had happened the previous summer. My doctor seemed skeptical, but agreed.

One week after my last injection I went for blood work. I remember I almost skipped it. What was the point? But I went anyways just to close the final door on this journey. Because of living in a remote community my clinic didn’t receive the results until the next day. What do you know – my estrogen was high. High enough to indicate my body was creating a follicle. I made plans to travel to Kelowna. The next day I used an at-home ovulation kit (one of the fancy, expensive ones) and it indicated that my body was at ‘peak ovulation’. Eric and I flew down to Kelowna at the last minute and spent the weekend in a hotel.

It turned out I had one follicle. And it wasn’t even that big – only 16 mm. I still remember when I ovulated because I felt some cramping in my right side that night. The next day the follicle had collapsed and they told us we could do the IUI if we wanted but they weren’t sure it would work. We opted to do it, we’d already spent so much money traveling down there and on all the medications, what was an extra $400 for the procedure?

I spent the next two weeks in agony waiting for the day I would go for my beta test. I was scheduled to go on Tuesday, March 6 and that Sunday night I couldn’t wait any longer so I dug out an old home pregnancy test I’d had from when we very first started trying.

I started shaking when I got a positive. I continued to be on edge for the entire first trimester and most of the second. As mentioned above, I honestly had trouble believing it was happening until I held our baby in my arms.

That small follicle became our healthy baby girl. Against all the odds, it worked. I still can hardly believe it myself.

The total cost of conceiving our baby (including the first two failed cycles and all costs associated with travel i.e. plane tickets, meals, hotel, car rental etc.) was just shy of $12,000. Luckily our extended health benefit plans through work covered the almost $6,000 worth of medications. The other half was travel, procedures and appointments and was paid for out of pocket because as great as our healthcare is in some ways, it does not cover appointments or procedures related to infertility.

So today is Olivia’s day. One year ago today, against all odds, she was conceived. And I will spend the entire day feeling immensely grateful for that.

She is perfect.


Currently: February Edition

Happy Friday! I can’t believe I completely blanked with my post on Wednesday and forgot to say Happy Valentine’s Day. I hope everyone had a great V-day 🙂 Eric was super sweet and got me flowers and also the fixings for an amazing breakfast, since he’s on night shift right now having breakfast together is what we do instead of dinner.

Time to check in with a Currently post!

Reading Glory Over Everything: Beyond the Kitchen House. This is the sequel/follow-up to The Kitchen House, which was one of my very favourite books that I read last year. I was excited when it went on sale on kindle a few days ago.

Loving bubble baths. Hands down my favourite way to relax after a long day. They are made 1,000x better when I put my laptop on the toilet to watch my favourite show and have a glass of wine. Sadly no wine for a few more days as I finish up this round of antibiotics.

Feeling better now that we are on a bit of a schedule. For almost a week now Olivia has been consistently sleeping from 8pm – 8am with 2-3 wake ups to eat in that 12 hour period. Then during the day she goes down for a nap every 1.5 hours and her naps last anywhere from 45 minutes to 2 hours. It’s not an exact schedule yet, but it’s better than the completely sporadic schedule we were on before and it’s been nice for this Type A personality!

Thinking about how freaking lucky I am to get a 12 month maternity leave with my girl. Olivia is 12 weeks today and I know that if I was in the US, I would either already be back at work or going back to work soon. I literally cannot even imagine going back to work right now, not only would it be so hard to leave her, I’m so tired and my brain is mush so working does not sound fun with the broken nights of sleep I get. I am so lucky I get this special extended time with her.

Anticipating visiting BFF Jen and her kiddos in mid-March! Olivia and I are flying down for 3 days of fun. I am also anticipating (and let’s be real – a bit nervous about) flying with her all by myself and crossing my fingers it goes well!

Watching This is Us. I watched Season 1 as it came out last year and I just bought Season 2 on iTunes. I am loving Season 2 so much more than Season 1, it is such a great show with awesome characters and at least every second episode makes me cry.  

Working on getting my strength and endurance back. My core strength is basically non-existent. I just had a great session with a physiotherapist specializing in pelvic health and I really need to work on regaining some of my core strength so will be working on that through some exercises she gave me and regular yoga over the next couple of weeks. I am also working on building an at-home yoga practice. I’ve always loved going to yoga at the studio but that’s just not possible very often these days so I need to practice at home right now. I did this power flow from Peanut Butter Runner yesterday and it was super tough, it got me sweating in only 30 minutes!

Grateful for a healthy family.

Listening to podcasts still. I did just start listening to a new true crime podcast called Stranglers because I was getting a little tired of all the mom podcasts.

Wishing that Eric had a job with more traditional hours. We miss him so much when he’s gone for so many hours of the day and especially when he’s on night shift.

What are you loving, anticipating and grateful for today?