In honour of Eric and I reaching the three month mark of our LDR. Inspired by one of my dear friends beautiful writing style.

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A long distance relationship is waking up an hour early to talk on the phone with him before he goes to work because of the hour time difference. It’s running out of class with your phone in hand when he calls because you haven’t had a spare moment to talk all day. It’s feeling upset when he doesn’t answer, wondering where he is or what he’s doing. It’s saving his voicemails so you can hear his voice when he’s at work.

A long distance relationship is seeing each others blurry faces through the webcam and making kissy faces. It’s leaving the webcam/computer on even while he’s playing x-box and you’re reading blogs; not speaking to each other but you’re “together”. It’s feeling a little upset when he has people over so he can’t go on webcam with you that night.

A long distance relationship is spending a weekend in tears due to a miscommunication. It’s anxiously waiting for his call to clear up the miscommunication. It’s trying to understand that he’s been working for 30 hours and therefore grumpy, but not really understanding at all. It’s crying yourself to sleep.

A long distance relationship is lonely. It’s trying to find the time to have a decent phone conversation. It’s falling asleep cold and lonely. It’s making hard choices. It’s sometimes wondering if it would just be easier to break up. It’s knowing that it wouldn’t be.

A long distance relationship is about growing and learning to live on your own. It’s about fixing the closet door – or trying to – because  there’s noone to do it for you. It’s taking on a million things so you never have a moment of downtime. It’s keeping a knife by your bed and putting a 20-pound weight in front of your bedroom door so noone can come in and kill you while your sleeping. It’s sleeping only on your side of the bed and never venturing to his.

A long distance relationship is incredibly hard. It’s the wake-up call you needed to show you this is what you want; he is the one. It’s all worth it in the end.

As you guys know, I’m a busy person. I have a job I love, I am going to school full-time and I’m thisclose to being done my undergraduate degree, I’m an avid runner, I have the best roomie ever (Webster, of course), I have great friends and a busy social life.

I feel very happy and content on a regular basis. But no matter where I am or what I’m doing, I have a constant, dull, background ache. Something is missing.

Now, I know the obvious answer is Eric, and yes, he is a large part of that ache. But to be honest, I’ve had that ache since I moved to Kamloops over a year ago. People have constantly told me, “home is what you make it”, “you’ll get used to Kamloops”, “you won’t stay homesick for long.”

Well, friends, it’s been 15 months since I first moved to Kamloops and I still feel homesick every. single. day.

The last few weeks have been hard ones. Yesterday, my dad underwent surgery to have a tumour removed from his pituitary gland. Thankfully he is doing well and is now in recovery. Also, last week Eric’s older sister suffered a miscarriage. My heart literally breaks for her every time I think about it because she is the most amazing mother ever and I know how much she wanted the baby. I am sending hug vibes but I wish I could have been there to give out a REAL hug.

To top all of that off, it’s Erics birthday on Saturday. Needless to say, I’ve been dying to go home. But the thing is, no matter how many trips I make home or how often (I’ve been going home every 2-3 months) that ache never seems to go away

Somewhere in the back of my mind, I keep harbouring the feeling that eventually I will be moving closer to home. I just don’t know when. All I know is, I can’t handle having this ache for the rest of my life!

A few pictures from camping this summer that make me miss home even more:

How do you guys handle being far away from your family and home? Does anybody else get that background “ache”? Will it ever go away?