My diet lately has consisted of a lot of these.

And not a lot none of this:

I have literally turned into a COOKIE MONSTER the last week. Maybe all that baking I did was not such a good idea after all! Eric left just over a week ago and the healthiness of my food choices has gone drastically downhill. I’ve basically given up grocery shopping all together and decided to sustain myself on cookies and wine.

I’ve learned a few lessons the last week or so that Eric has been out of town.

Lesson #1: Just because your significant other is gone, it’s no excuse not to grocery shop otherwise, your fridge will end up looking like this:

Lesson #2: When you’re cooking for one, actually cook for ONE otherwise your plate will end up looking like this:

Lesson #3: Do not try to defeat the giant plate of pasta and veggies (and therefore make up for all the veggies you’ve been missing over the last several days). You will NOT succeed.

Lesson #4: Attempting to eat the above serving of pasta an hour before a Hot Yoga class? Bad, bad, TERRIBLE idea.

Lesson #5: Freezing cookies will not stop you from eating them. In fact, I’d argue it makes them taste even better.

Lesson #6: Don’t beat yourself up for eating two four dough balls and one sugar cookie in one night. It is the holidays after all. Make healthier choices tomorrow!

I am trying really hard not to restrict myself this holiday season – or beat myself up too much when I do go overboard on baked goods. All the delicious baking in my freezer is not helping with that situation!

Either way, it’s the holidays, I know I’ll be ramping up my running and yoga come January so it’s not like a few extra pounds (which I’ve inevitably put on) is going to kill me.

At the same time, when I over-do it on baking, sugary treats and heavy dinners (like I did yesterday) I don’t FEEL good physically or mentally. Physically, I feel sick and like I’m on a sugar high and mentally I start to beat myself up for eating four dough balls when I only needed one (or, ya know, two!)My goal for today is to eat foods that make me feel healthy and good! If that means a dough ball sneaks in there, so be it, but I don’t think that four dough balls are going to help me achieve that goal. I haven’t grocery shopped in over a week which is why I haven’t been able to sneak many fruits and veggies into my diet lately – another reason for my slumps. I think I’ll pick up the stuff to make a HUGE salad for dinner tonight!

How do you handle all the treats and tempting food surrounding you during the holiday season? Do you think ‘meh, I’ll work it off in January’ or do you try to resist?

It’s been awhile since I did a Friday Five post and I know my IRL friend Tammy (Hi Tam!) enjoys them so here we go.

One.

I was talking to my friend Tiffany on Facebook yesterday and she was telling me about her latest dating escapades etc. and then she said, “So, what’s new with you?” and I was kind of at a loss because nothing is really new. At all. I work, I run, I blog/read blogs and I do my freelance work. Oddly enough, it’s kind of nice not to have anything “new” going on right now. I’m still very busy, but overall life is good!

Two.

So remember how I wanted to lose weight? Well about three weeks ago I started calorie counting again on Spark People and whaddya know, I’m losing weight. I guess I *still* have not mastered intuitive eating. Will I ever? Sigh. But it’s working, I’m down 4 pounds in about 3 weeks.

Three.

I am so ready for Eric to be here already. Remember how I wanted to be independent and single and live alone? Ya, I’m over that. Not that I didn’t enjoy doing those things and think that it was a really important experience for me to spend the last year living alone, but now I’m done with it. 11 more sleeps, 11 more sleeps, 11 more sleeps…

Four.

Who else is watching Big Brother 12? Anyone? I remember last summer when I was obsessed with it there were barely any other fans. Boo to that. Big Brother is the one reality TV show I enjoy. Bachelor/Bachelorette? PLEASE, so fake and stupid. Survivor? Ditto. I don’t really care for all the drama/plotting on Big Brother but the competitions they have are hilarious. HILARIOUS. I still haven’t decided who I like this season, but I’m leaning towards Ragan, Matt and Brittany.

Five.

I’m currently almost done American Wife. After the blogger book club read it a couple of months ago and all blogged about it I couldn’t wait to get my hands on it but my library only had the audio version. So Becky was super sweet and mailed me her copy! I will do a full post on it next week, but it’s seriously SO GOOD. Like, one-of-the-best-books-I’ve-ever-read good. I am very sad that I’m almost done.

What are your Friday Five this week?

After sailing through – no, not just sailing through, actually excelling at it - being in a long-distance relationship for six months last year. I really didn’t think Eric moving away again two weeks ago would be a big deal.

I’m still busy. I work and do freelance on the side, I blog, I’m training for a marathon. I have a fairly active social life, spending time with friends 3-4 nights out of the week. I thought I’d be fine.

I’m not.

He’s not either.

Something is different. It’s harder this time. I get lonely more often. I don’t just get lonely, I get lonely for him. I’ll be sitting at home in the evening, going about my business and being perfectly fine and all of a sudden I’ll be overcome by an overwhelming feeling of sadness and loneliness.

It’s almost that same feeling like when you’re going through a break-up, ya know? It comes out of nowhere and knocks the wind out of you right when you’re least expecting it. Like when I find a dirty sock of his under the bed when bending over to pick up the laundry I dropped.

The indefinite thing; it doesn’t help. Last time we knew, six months, six months, six months. That’s what we kept telling ourselves. This time? No idea. Whatsoever. It’s indefinite. And that’s the hardest part.

Maybe it’s because we spent three weeks straight together and we’re both more attached? Maybe it’s because my life, while still busy, isn’t nearly as busy as it was the last time he left? I don’t know.

All I know is that it’s harder this time. Much harder. And I kind of hate it.

So that’s why I’m here to tell you that Eric is actively searching for a job in Kamloops at the moment. And, hopefully, by the end of 2010 we will finally, after nearly 6 years, be in a place where we can live together permanently. He will likely be going back to school full-time in September 2011, here in Kamloops. But we don’t want to wait that long. So for now, we’re both on the look-out for some kind of job – any kind of job really – so that he can move back here.

We’re hopeful.

Sorry to be such a Debbie Downer on a Friday. I hope you all have a wonderful weekend. XO