4 months to go

Honestly, I don’t have a big, upbeat, hyped-up, rah-rah-rah, excited wedding post for you today. Tomorrow it will be exactly one year since Eric proposed and our wedding is only four months away but at this point I’m just over the whole wedding planning business and ready to be married. I am ready to be Eric’s wife and have him be my husband.

In some ways I am really glad we had such a long engagement. It gave us time to renovate our house and move in without stressing about wedding planning. It gave me time to figure out all the details and slowly plan them and purchase things for the wedding so it all didn’t have to happen at once. It’s been a really great year for us and I’m very happy but I’m just at the point where I’m tired of planning.

This could have a lot to do with being exhausted in general right now. My new job and marathon training are taking a priority over wedding planning these days and I think that’s OK. Most of the big things are done anyways. I know the wedding weekend and day will come and it will be wonderful and fabulous and amazing but right now I’m just kind of ready for it to be here and tired of putting a lot of effort into planning a party for one day.

Anyways, I will end my little rant now and give you a little breakdown of things that have been done and things on the list…

What’s been done in the last month:

  • Invitations went out. That was exciting! My mom and aunt stuffed, stamped and mailed the invitations around the middle of the month and we’ve already started getting RSVP’s. We are doing online RSVP’s and just an FYI for any brides who stumble on this and might be considering it – getting an email saying someone has RSVP’ed to your wedding is just as exciting as getting snail mail saying it! 🙂

On my to-do list in the next month:

  • Venue Visit. Eric and I are going down to the coast the last weekend of this month to finally see our venue in person, meet with a bunch of our vendors and do a food tasting. I can’t wait to see it in person after drooling over photos for the last year!
  • Tuxes. We really need to get on picking out tuxes for all the men involved in the wedding this month.
  • Dress Alterations. I’m going in next week with local bridesmaid Jen for my first dress fitting with the seamstress!

And that’s it, that’s all for this month. I’m sorry I’m not very enthusiastic. I really am excited to get married, I’m just tired and don’t have much energy for the planning these days.

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Questions of the day: How long is / was your engagement? If you had a long engagement like us did you ever get burnt out on planning?

30 Responses

  1. nicole says:

    My engagement was about 11 months so I didn’t quite get to the point that you are at. )Ou have a lot of other stuff going on though so I can see why you feel this way. I actually really missed wedding planning and the anticipation of it all when it was over!

  2. eemusings says:

    Huh, that must mean we’ve just hit our one year of engagement too!

    I sent my first email queries out to venues this week. Yikes.

  3. Mine was 8 months but I moved away from where we were getting married about 4 months into it. So I made it my goal to get as much done as possible before I moved. Luckily, I got a lot done and then was able to count on my family to get some details sorted out (like cupcake tasting…that was unfortunate to miss). The week before the wedding was a little insane as a result (with all I had to do now that I was back in town) but I definitely didn’t have the time to be sick of planning 🙂

  4. I think the way you feel is totally normal. Most of my friends hit a point where they just wanted to be married and to be done with the planning. And honestly, I think it’s important to be more excited about the marriage than the wedding day. Your excitement for the day will return, especially when we all gather in Vancouver and kick off the wedding festivities. That will be awesome and so much fun. But the months leading up to it when you are already busy with work and marathon training and everything else? Yah, planning kind of wears a person down.

    I personally want a short engagement. Like 6 months. I need it to be short because I don’t see myself being super into wedding planning… I am not picky on the time of year I get married – I don’t want to get married in the summer because my dad hates summer weddings (sorry, he just doesn’t like giving up his lake weekend, no offense against those who choose summer weekends!). So since i am really flexible on the time of year, I think I could pull off a 6 month engagement!

  5. I really got sick of wedding planning, and I didn’t really have to do very much. That is a really long engagement and I think your feelings are very typical. Ready to be done with it all! But believe me, the next 4 months will fly by.

  6. Stephany says:

    I agree with Lisa, what you are feeling is totally normal! I would imagine after thinking about it for a year, along with the other life changes you’re dealing with, it can get overwhelming and to the point you just want the wedding day to be here.

    And being more interested in being Eric’s wife than the wedding itself? That’s very important!

    I think I’m more apt to have a short engagement. While I want my wedding day to be special, I know I’ll keep it super small and intimate and I’m not real picky about details. Not to say those who have longer engagements are! But I just can’t see myself having a long engagement when I will be MUCH more interested in the marriage itself. But who knows WHAT will happen. Can’t really say until it does!

    And 4 months! Whoa! It’s almost here!

  7. Hazel says:

    4 months to go, wow! I felt the same way around that point even though we were only engaged for 9 months! At a certain point, you have all of the major stuff done and you can’t really do any of the little stuff until closer to the wedding so you’re just at a stand still for a little while.

    We did email RSVPs for ours and it worked so well! We did probably about 20 paper versions for those older people who aren’t hip on email, but overall, I’m glad we did it. Saved money too!

  8. A Super Girl says:

    We are getting married in about 37 days and will have been engaged just over a year by our wedding date. In my opinion, it’s a bit too long. Gave me time to make decisions, reconsider them, and reconsider them again.

    I’m also feeling “over” the whole wedding planning thing. I’m just ready for the next step. For me, it’s a bit nerve-wracking to think about standing in front of 200 people, so I’m kind ready for the day to be here. On the flip side, I’m also trying to enjoy or at least not rush this part, because hopefully this is the only time I’ll be a “fiance”, and that’s a special thing, too.

  9. This makes perfect sense. Four months is going to fly by though and then it will be over!

    Can’t wait for you to see the venue! That will be so fun!

    Have a good weekend. Are you still in Ottawa?

  10. Lindsey says:

    Our engagement was 18 months and I would never have changed it. It allowed us to enjoy the wedding planning process and we had the time to think about our choices and decisions. It also allowed us to get our first choice in a photographer, venue and caterer since those things book up so far in advance!

  11. Katrina says:

    Yes we were engaged two years the day we got married. We got married on the day he proposed and we were so over planning a huge wedding that, as you know, did a sort of eloping deal and it was so us. It was exactly what we wanted and I would do it again 🙂 But maybe get my dress altered first lol

  12. Leigh says:

    I meant to tell you that I received your invitation! They turned out so nice. We did the online RSVP and it worked out so well! You then have everyone’s email address which is super handy as well.

    Our engagement was 1.5 years and although it was long, I enjoyed it. Gave me lots of time to work on DIY projects and plan everything, but near the end I was ready to just have the wedding. Just remember that the day goes by so fast!

  13. Britt says:

    We were engaged for 13 months and it was a long time. We both said looking back 6-7 months would have been enough time. I was getting very antsy to just get married already! It will be here soon my dear!

  14. LG says:

    Hey girl!

    Ugh – sounds like there is a lot going on in your life these days!!! I hope you can find some time to do nothing. :0) I too was just so excited to be MARRIED, I felt like I just put my head down and planned and planned, like a project manager or something. :0) The day itself was totally totally fun though!

    Anyway, there’s obviously that whole other side to the “planning” stuff for marriage – the planning to be a husband and wife. This is so important to intentionally study, and perhaps you have been already doing this stuff while planning everything else. I’m sure some of it has come up while living together, but having formal knowledge about love and respect, his/her essential needs, families of origin, and “love languages” can go a LONG way in helping to start any couple off on the right foot. I know a few couples in counseling 5-6 years after being married and none of them did counseling or read any relationship books prior to marriage. I’ll just throw some book names out there…”Hedges”, “Love and Respect”, “His Needs, Her Needs” and “The Five Love Languages”. Solid, solid information to keep your love strong for evah and evah! :0) Here’s a link to a love language quiz too…kinda fun. :0) http://www.5lovelanguages.com/assessments/love/

    Five years later, I almost never put my dress on, but almost EVERY SINGLE DAY I use the relationship skills that I learned from these books…anyway, *HUGS*! Have a great weekend!

  15. My engagement was 14 months and I HATED the last four or five months of it. That’s when most of the stuff happens (finalizing food, finalizing dessert, finalizing clothes choices for boys and girls, etc. etc.) LOTS of decisions happen in a short period of time (even if you’ve thought about it, none of the vendors want or care to know until they get closer to your wedding). So it’s just a lot of talking and communicating. I had drama with my shoes and my dress, so that was a headache and a half. I hope that doesn’t happen to you!

    But the actual day was amazing and I had so much fun and it was totally worth it and yeah, being married is pretty awesome. Most of the time. 😉

  16. Holly says:

    We were engaged for 10 months and didn’t really start planning anything (apart from the venues) until about 6 months before the wedding. That’s not recommended when you’re having an August wedding and most of the big things in the city – like caterers, florists, photographers, venues, etc. are reserved more than a year in advance! Honestly, I had so much else going on in my life at that point – church drama, buying a house, starting a new job – that wedding planning drove me NUTS. My MIL did most of it – and even though it annoyed me at the time, if I had to do it, it wouldn’t have gotten done at all! Or at least not nearly as well! I wish we had had a longer engagement so I could have taken my time wtih things but like you said – it’s ONE party for ONE day – the little details don’t really matter that much in the grand scheme of things! Hope you get some rest this weekend! You deserve a break 🙂

  17. Kara says:

    Our engagement only lasted 7 months, and I think you feel burnt-out from wedding planning regardless of how long you’re engaged for!

    I can’t believe your wedding is only 4 months away! It seems like just yesterday Eric proposed! Time sure flies when you’re old, lol!

    And I agree about getting RSVP’s – every time we got one back, it was like Christmas!

  18. Well, since I have yet to find a man and get myself engaged, I have no insight for you. But I can tell you that I’m going to suck at wedding planning. My parent’s insistance that I get married in their back yard may actually be a better idea than I realized.

  19. Morgan says:

    Our engagement will be just shy of a year and I feel like I do at least one wedding related thing a day sometimes. I def can see how you could get burnt out and know that I’ve gotten close at time already and probably will again as the time draws nearer. So exciting that the invitations are out and you’re already getting back RSVP’s!!! I really, really, really wanted to do the online RSVP thing but Spike is not keen on the idea.

    I bet you’ll have renewed excitement once you visit the site, taste all the food, and put that dress back on!

    That reminds me, we should totally dress pic swap! 🙂

  20. Your sentiments are probably the exact reason why most engagements only last a year … long enough to get things done, but not so drawn out that you just wish the day were here. We got engaged on October 22, 2007 and got married on October 18, 2008 … almost a year to the day after our engagement. It was the perfect amount of time to be engaged and to plan a wedding!

  21. Stevie says:

    We got engaged last May and our wedding is in August, so our engagements are pretty similar in length. Our wedding is going to be really small – around 35 people – so there hasn’t been much stress over planning. We’re keeping things really simple and not doing much in the way of decorations. Our venue is similar to yours. It’s in the San Juan Islands on the water so we figured the natural beauty will provide most of the “decor”. The long engagement has been really great as far as saving money, though. We’ve been able to comfortably set aside money over the past year and have a good chunk in our wedding fund. I’m also in school full time, so the long engagement has been good for that as well.

    Sounds like things are going along smoothly for you! How exciting!

    • MissAmber says:

      That’s SO cool you’re getting married on the San Juan Islands! Our venues are similar. And yes, we are doing almost no decor as well.

  22. San says:

    We planned our wedding a matter of 5 months (which was a whirlwind, let me tell you – but also “short” enough to not quite lose the excitement, rather my head with everything that needed to be done… but I also didn’t have a job at the time, because I was back in Germany and had enough time to focus on the planning.
    I do understand though that as excited as you are, you’re a little tired of the planning phase…. but everything seems to be on schedule, so nothing to worry about 🙂

  23. Kelly says:

    As you know I was def done with wedding planning by the end. A long engagement was kind of necessary for our venue but it was not really the right thing for me because I did not like planning and I do quite like being married haha. It’s ok to do no planning for awhile especially since you have so many other things happening! I also agree with Lisa that it’s good to be more excited about the marriage than the wedding.

  24. Shoshanah says:

    Our engagement is going to be close to 20 months. I wouldn’t say I’m burnt out, but more that I feel like there’s SO much I still need to do, and wish I had a magic wedding fairy to finish everything for me.

  25. Wendy says:

    Our engagement was 18 months long, and while it was longer than I had wanted (6 months was my initial thought!), it was needed for the fact that we were planning a wedding from 3,000 km away! By the end, we had already planned everything and it was just waiting, so like you, just go and get married already! One thing is, that since you are so busy, you won’t dwell on the details as much and just go with it, which is sometimes a good thing! I was so busy at work, that I didn’t even realize the wedding day was coming up so quick and it made it less stressful in terms of making any decisions (i.e. just go with it, it will be fine, and it was!)

  26. I’m definitely burned out, and it’s still over 6 months to the wedding. In a way it’s good though. All the major stuff aside from invitations and the cake are done so once those two things are taken care of it should all just be little details to deal with. Right now though, I just need a few weeks without having to hear the words wedding planning…if I do, I’ll seriously scream!

  27. Becky says:

    We had an 18-month engagement because Ben still had a full year of school left, and I agree, while it can be great in some ways, it can be crappy in others, and I DEFINITELY got the “I’m so over it” feelings too – totally normal!

    That being said, I can’t wait until your wedding day and seeing pictures and hearing stories! You’re going to be a beautiful bride!

  28. My engagement was 7 months and even that was too long for me! I was ready to get married about 1 month after we got engaged – everything was basically ready to go.

  29. The Linz says:

    You are getting married in 4 months, YAY!! These next few months will fly by. We had a 7 month engagement, and it felt like we were pretty stressed the whole time, as we had to make decisions quickly. I think having a longer engagement would have given us a little bit of a break between planning. I admire you for all that you are doing while wedding planning. I was training for my marathon while wedding planning too and found it to be a great escape from the wedding stress.