Some recent thoughts about weight
I have been meaning to write a follow-up to this post for over a year. I haven’t been able to find the words but now I finally have.
A couple of weeks ago I went to a 6 AM yoga class. The first one I’d attended in months. At the end of the class the instructor read the article “Eight things I learned from 50 naked people” to us while we were lying in savasana. One thing really stuck out to me:
“Your weight is the least interesting thing about you”
In the last year since I wrote my 10 pounds post I have gotten better about letting my obsession with weight – and specifically losing weight – go. But some days are still a battle. Some days I still feel “fat”.
In the last year I’ve gone back-and-forth day-to-day and week-to-week on being happy with my weight, wanting to lose 5 pounds, wanting to lose 10 pounds, taking pictures of my food to be more aware of what I eat, tracking my food through My Fitness Pal, having tea every night and avoiding dessert, binging until I feel sick to my stomach, having great eating days and having crappy eating days, having good body image days and having bad body image days.
Where I am right now is I haven’t weighed myself in about 3-4 weeks and I’m overall happy with how I feel and how I look. I haven’t been tracking my food and have been doing my very best to eat intuitively. Right now I feel good about my body. That might change in a week or a month. I’m starting to be more accepting of the fact that I will have good days and weeks and bad days and weeks. I likely will never feel 100% comfortable in my skin 100% of the time. And I’m OK with that.
At this point, I’m choosing to believe that like life, the journey of getting “there” (even if you never truly get there!) is the most important part.
This post is inspiring….I think way too much about this as well. I should just learn to let go. Thanks
I enjoy your outlook on this. It really is hard to be bombarded with a million different messages of how to look, when really the only thing you need to worry about it how you feel.
Weight and just overall health issues are something that so many of us struggle with, but being able to come to terms with who you are and accepting that you will have good and bad days is a really awesome thing. I feel like I’m kind of in the same place as you right now… I still have my days where I’m like “okay, I need to lose 10 pounds” but I don’t know if that’s ME talking or just my self-consciousness based on seeing images of celebrities, etc.
Anyways, good for you for having such a great mentality about it for now!
I don’t weight myself much because our scale at home is broken which I guess is a good thing. But I do have trouble with how I feel about my self. Often even with all the running and exercising I still feel “fat” and “big”. I try to control my cookie intake but I can’t because they are just so good. It really is a battle every day sometimes to be ok with my body even though there are parts that I do not like at all.
Good for you! I think you look AMAZING these days, so who cares what that scale says! I do not own a scale and probably only weigh myself once a month, if that. It just is never a positive experience to step on the scale as I am inevitable disappointed it seems. So I just go by how I feel and how my clothes fit. I have my bad days and my good days, but overall, I, too, am happy with how I look. I think doing things like marathons really help us to appreciate and respect our bodies instead of viewing them as a source of disappointment!
I feel like I could have written this exact post. I know I will struggle with this the REST OF MY LIFE. So I have to take every day and week as they come. Right now I’m in the “I need to lose 10 lbs” phase–but in a few weeks the cycle will change. I think its because I think weight really does fluctuate within 10 lbs and some weeks are good and some are bad. I too have to love myself the way I am and I really struggle with it sometimes! And you look great, BTW!
That’s a great article, and I really like the mantra that your weight is the least interesting thing about you. Great advice!
It’s an interesting thought – “your weight is the least interesting thing about you”
What I’m finding myself right now is that I can’t really feel good about myself for some reason due to an extra 10 lbs or so. As much as I’d like to just write it off, I don’t seem to be able to let go of it mentally. :/
I think the most difficult concept to accept is that we are all always changing. I knew after the ironman that I was going to put on more weight and my running was going to slow down. That didn’t make it easier to accept when it happened. Yesterday I started trying to lose the offseason weight and get back into a tri training plan that I can hold through the summer to get lean and faster than last year, and it makes me feel empowered again.
Very awesome post, Amber.
I agree with what John says; I think the hardest part for me is that my body is always changing. The winter months are a bit tough but once spring/summer/fall are here I can be more active outside and etc. than I am right now, and my body almost always shows that. We don’t own a scale (thank goodness) but I dread the moment at the doctor where they weigh you. I try to chalk it up to just a number on focus on what I am doing for myself in terms of exercise, what I am eating and what I’m not eating and if I feel good, then that’s what really matters! I will always have good/bad body image days and feeling fat days but I suppose that’s part of the territory of caring about my body I guess!
I think this was a great post Amber! There are so many things out there telling us we should look a certain way or that we should work on losing the last 5-10 pounds. Sometimes we just have to accept that our weight is not the be all and end all of things in life. Sometimes that is easier said then done though!
Wow I am so glad I just found this. This is literally me, I go through and feel the same things you’re talking about. It’s so freakiiiin hard to find a healthy balance between eating for your health and not becoming obsessive over it. I’ve kind of realized I’ve missed out on so much this year because I’ve been in my own head to much, worrying about things that I shouldn’t be worrying about! This post just cheered me up so much, it always helps to find someone who understands and can totally relate to this stuff!
An update is always great to hear. Weight, health, fitness can be such a tricky area. And personally for me it’s hard to be a Health At Every Size advocate in an industry that can seem very unaccepting of the idea that people can be healthy at a multitude of sizes.
For me what’s so much more important is what you eat, what you do to get moving, and your mental health. It is a journey as well, and no one day is perfect. We can’t all expect to be accepting and self-loving 100% of the time.
Inspiring post, Amber! I think it’s so important to be more aware of how we feel about our bodies and eating habits, rather than what the scale says. I’m not quite there yet, but it’s very hard not to let yourself be consumed by the numbers.
And also to remember we will have good days and bad days and things will happen. We just have to learn to move on from it, and learn from that experience.
This is a great post. I think part of learning to accept your body is definitely learning that there will be some days you won’t be totally happy with it. In what other area of our life do we demand such perfection? We know we’ll always have bad days at work, or we’ll miss our bus, or forget to do our laundry. Even in terms of appearance, we accept bad hair days and occasional pimples. But a bad body image day, missing a workout or an occasional cupcake? It’s so hard to realise that we might not always be at our best in terms of eating and exercising and weight!
I think it’s great you are honest about this, because as someone who reads weight loss/health/running blogs but struggles to motivate myself in real life, I can sometimes feel down on myself against bloggers who live such healthy lifestyles. It’s kind of good to know that nobody’s perfect – sometimes they eat until it hurts or just have bad body image days, as much as I wish no one EVER had bad body image days! Thanks for sharing.
I feel ya, girl. I’ve tried all that stuff too and what I’ve found is working out consistently (as you do) is the only way for me to feel good more often than not. Because even on my worst days, I’ll think “at least I went for a run” or at least I will be going for a run, you know. I definitely don’t need that “three pieces of chocolate cake OMG WTF HAVE I DONE” written in my food diary though
What a great attitude! I agree with John and Nora, that your body is changing and it’s best to do what feels right. I know that sometimes it is easy for others to say that you look great when it’s one’s own self image that is lacking. I found for myself that if I am eating well and exercising, I FEEL good and that is what makes everything okay. Even if my pants don’t fit as well as I would like, I feel confident about myself. So I am glad that you have decided not to worry about the tracking or the scale as much and have instead decided to enjoy the journey and not the destination! Good luck!
It really is true for the most part. Lately I’ve wondered about it though, because I lost so much weight, my weight really IS what’s interesting about me. Losing 100 pounds is not a small feat and yet I would like something ELSE to be what’s interesting about me….
LOVE this post, Amber. Seriously, it’s great. I always found that when I was training for a marathon, the intensity of training always trumped any body image issues I might have been having. But, you’re absolutely right. Whether we need to gain or lose weight, we miss out on some of the best moments in life if we can’t enjoy the journey getting there. Thanks for the reminder.
This is a great post Amber… and something I think we all think about at times, some more than others. Like Nora, I seem to have trouble in the winter months- I really don’t know what it is because I work out about the same amount but I just for some reason eat more in the winter. The first couple of years out of college I freaked out about the inevitable weight gain, and then finally last year I was like “what if I just don’t freak out?” would I still lose the weight in the summer again… YUP, I did and it was so much better to not freak out. This year and I am yet again up a few pounds but I’m going with the method of not freaking out again. I just figure, what is the point?
I also think you look amazing and you are clearly a super healthy person and that is what matters!
It’s very admirable that you’re comfortable enough to put your thoughts like this out there – the realization that you don’t have to fee the exact same about things every day takes a long time to come to! Hopefully that will eventually lead to just accepting each day as is, recognizing all of the successes vs deemed “failures” and seeing days as opportunities, not “goods” or “bads”.
Thanks for sharing, and creating an atmosphere that lends the openness!
I really enjoy reading your thoughts and progression as you go through your journey – thank you for sharing it. I think that I’m in a similar stage to you with regards to my weight/self image and have been thinking it over a lot in the last week. Your post really speaks to me, particularly your statement of “your weight is the least interesting thing about you”.
It seems, as many women, we always seem to think that “we’re not pretty/thin/interesting/accomplished/etc enough”, and we never give ourselves enough credit for what we actually are and what we have done with our lives. We are valued on so many things more than just our weight or any other singular thing, but we all have such a hard time letting go of whatever that thing is. We have to remember – we are interesting and we are all beautiful and we are certainly are all good enough, and more than enough! We need to accept our choices and know that we can be happy with who we are, no matter where we are in the journey!
Love your attitude, and love this post
I love that quote. It’s so true, there are so many more important things about a person than their weight, but for some reason we focus on it the most (or at least it feels that way). I think that once we are comfortable with ourselves and who we are, that’s when weight becomes less of an issue. I mean, for me, I’m pretty happy with my weight right now. Yes, I would LOVE to lose 10 more pounds. But ultimately, if I don’t, what difference will that make? I’ve been super thin, I’ve been overweight, and neither one made me happy. Weight isn’t everything. Sometimes it feels like it is, but it’s not.
I just want to say that this is a great post. I relate so much to the struggles and obsessing about weight that you talked about. The time and energy spent obsessing and feeling guilty about weight can be spent in such better ways. You sound like you have a great attitude and outlook on this issue. Thank you for sharing your thoughts so openly; I just found your blog and it’s lovely!
Love this! I need to start getting back to feeling happy about my body and shape rather than beat myself up for not tracking my food or having a binge day. I still work out and need to celebrate me and not criticize myself.
The best quote I ever read “Give your scale away, preferably to someone you don’t like”.
Oy vey. Weight and how I feel about it is something that I really struggle with. I spent much of my teens and early 20s dieting and losing and gaining back what I had lost in a vicious cycle. As a feminist and a humanist, I find the pressure on women to lose weight and to look a certain way to be ridiculous and harmful. I haven’t dieted for years now, although I do try to keep a food journal so I am aware of how I am eating. I sometimes find myself wanting to lose 10-15 pounds, though, and I wonder why. I don’t think it would ultimately make me happier to do so.
I used to be like this- until I stopped weighing myself. The scale doesn’t matter (unless you are obese which you aren’t). How I feel energy-wise is far more important than a number on the scale. How I look in clothes matters more. I decided that exercising more (which makes me feel amazing!) and eating better, but not beating myself up about a few treats was a better plan.
I haven’t weighed myself since Audrey was born. There is no point- I can tell that I still have baby weight left. Does it matter if it is 5 pounds or 20 pounds? It will come off with good eating habits and once I can start exercising. Sure I don’t like how my body looks right now but I am not going to beat myself up about it. And I am not going to deprive myself of mini-eggs either!
You are gorgeous! We all have good days and bad days- I just hope your good ones outweigh the bad ones!