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I’m actually really glad that I didn’t have it in me to write this post on Monday night because yesterday’s Ten on Tuesday questions - and all the comments - inspired a lot of this post.
Is it fate that I waited to write this post today and that the Ten on Tuesday questions inspired me? No, it’s a coincidence.
If you missed yesterday’s post, basically one of the questions was “Do you believe in fate?” And my answer was:
Nope. I believe that things happen because of choices we make, not because they were “meant to be”. I also believe that sometimes bad things happen simply because someone is in the wrong place at the wrong time.
A few people mentioned meeting their significant other and how it was fate that they met each other when they did and if one or two things hadn’t happened the way they did then they may not have ever met their significant other.
I don’t think that’s fate. I think it’s a coincidence.
For example, in the first year that Eric and I were dating we were very on-and-off. At one point, we hadn’t spoken for almost a month and were both moving on from each other. One day I went to the bank to deposit a cheque. Well, who would be in line at the bank that day but Eric.
Was it “fate” that brought me to the bank that day? No, it was the fact that I was on the way to the gym and the bank was there. It was pure coincidence. If we hadn’t ran into each other that day and started talking again who knows where we’d be today. But my point is I don’t believe that was fate, I believe it was a very lucky coincidence.
Now, I’m going to go into the topic of soul mates and love, which is the deep topic I was originally pondering the other day.
Lately, I’ve heard a lot about friends/bloggers/people I know ending their relationship. In some cases, it’s people who have been together for a long time and on their surface they seem to have a very good, happy and healthy relationship.
Obviously, not everything is the way it appears, so just because I think these people have a wonderful relationship doesn’t mean all truly is wonderful.
But here’s my internal dilemma: I bet to all of you, Eric and I have a wonderful relationship. I rarely, if ever, write about our problems. But that’s not to say we don’t have any. If we ended it, you’d probably all be very surprised (don’t worry, we are both very happy right now and have no plans to end it anytime soon).
I guess what I’ve been wondering lately, quite simply, is why us?
Why are we able to make it work when others cannot? We have our problems, too. Some that seem very daunting and difficult to overcome. We are both young with our whole lives before us. There have been times when breaking up may have been easier then staying together. But we made the choice to work through the hard times.
This is where I touch on the subject of soul mates. Do I believe that Eric is my soul mate and that there is no other person out there for me? No.
I don’t believe in soul mates.
I believe that there are probably a number of men out there that I could be perfectly happy with. Once again, this all comes back to choices, coincidence, and being in the right place at the right time.
I love Eric. A lot. A lot, a lot, a lot. So much it hurts sometimes. It’s hard to imagine that I could feel that same amount of love for anyone else. But I think if situations were different, I probably could.
Our relationship works because we make it work. The reason I don’t believe in - or particularly like - the idea of soul mates is because it makes it seem like love is fine, dandy and easy. It’s not. It takes sacrifice, it takes making hard choices and it means going through a bit of hurt.
So, to wrap this incredibly long post up, I don’t believe in fate. I don’t believe in soul mates.
I believe in coincidence and making choices.
And I believe in love. I believe that love takes hard work, sacrifice, and making tough choices. I believe that the right kind of love is worth all those things.
{ 57 comments… read them below or add one }
I agree completely. Well, mostly.
I am undecided about whether or not I agree with you on the coincidences part.
As for your question about what makes you and Eric different- I had to think about this a lot last summer when I was giving a maid of honor speech at my best friend’s wedding. She and her, now husband, have been together since they were 17. When we we started college, most of our friends were in serious relationships and they are the only two that are still together now (most of us are with other people or single). I decided that the only thing that truly made them different is that they always believed they could make it. Instead of having a hard time and leaving, they had a hard time and worked through it. That’s the only difference. I feel like Eric and I have always had that attitude with each other- we get mad or sad, but we decide to figure it out rather than walk out. It’s all about your decision…how you choose to do it. That’s my thoughts 
But I am 100 % in agreement with you about soul mates. I don’t believe in them at all. I know there are other guys I could spend my life with, but I’m choosing not to
ah yes - i totally don’t believe in soul mates because i know i could probably put the effort forth with any other guy. But because hector and I choose to work at it, and make us work, it’s love. I do think that those people who have it so easy — if it ever got hard, they’d run away from it.
we definitely work at our relationship, if we didn’t work at it, there’s no way we would last. it’s like my parents who have been together for 32 years, they’ve had their ups and downs, and they make it work. so does his parents - they’ve been together for 37 years! right now they’ve probably hit their all time low, and we’re surprised that his dad hasn’t walked away but you know what, he’s just not willing to walk away from 37 years of marriage just because there’s a huge bump in the road. and I admire him for that.
I’m a fan on facebook now!
To me, soulmate is a tricky word. I absolutely believe there is no one better suited for me than my husband. But does that mean if something were to (God forbid) happen to him I would never meet someone else I could be with? No. I just don’t know that there would ever be that same kind of connection. And quite frankly, it’s really hard to picture my life without him, or me with anyone else. So, I don’t know if that means I do or do not believe in soulmates, but I DEFINITELY agree that love is hard work - some days, harder than others.
I think the soul mate question is harder for me to answer now that I’m married. When I was single, I think I would have said there are many “soul mates” out there for each person, and much does depend on hard work and perhaps coincidences. But since I’m not single, I feel disloyal saying that! So that’s a tough one.
Reading this, reading everyone’s comments and then examining my own situation, here’s what I think… I have loved before but in those instances I never truly saw the big picture panning out. So when the end came it hurt but I was none the worse for the wear, I already knew in my heart they were not the right person for me. Fast forward to those first few exchanges with Spike, did I have the slightest clue what lay in store? Nope. Could things have turned out entirely different? Absolutely. We could have met in Chicago, had fun driving up to Michigan and let that be that. In fact that is all I wanted to happen, but inside my heart I felt like he was different. His persistance paid off and eventually I stopped denying my own feelings; that I was crazy about him and enough so to want to make it work. Every single day now my heart aches for him in ways I never thought possible and I care about him more than I ever have anyone in my past so I try that much harder to make it work. We both do. We both want the same thing and everyday we work towards it; To be together. It would be so much easier to just find someone where we live and give it our all and never have to sacrifice a thing but in the end, sometimes love is worth the sacrifice… even if it’s 1,800 miles away. Could I find love here in Florida? Sure. Do I want to? Not anymore. Is Spike my soul mate or did I just happen upon the right man at the right time? I’m going to go with the latter but either way I’m just thankful every day that I did.
Can I just say I’m so happy you found love like that. Amazing feeling, right? XO
but what if my soul mate lives on the other side of the country? or is just wandering aimlessly on the streets with a massive head wound, confused? how am i supposed to meet them then?
That’s a joke of course, but I see what you mean. most people think I married “up”, and I don’t challenge that. but really I just figured that she was into me and was tolerable to keep around. The truth is that you find someone who you don’t want to murder and stick with them. and after 11 years of marriage we haven’t killed each other (yet). and everyone has problems, even us. we’ve been on the brink of divorce more times than i can count. but after you have kids you really have to put out the extra effort to work it out for their sake. hey, it happens.
I think you are a very smart man.
Fate and coincidence are the exact same thing. The only difference is that fate is controlled by an outside force, and coincidence is not. If you don’t believe that something (and I’m talking big picture here, not just the Judeo-Christian God of Jesus) is in control, either manipulating the entire situation (even you) or at least encouraging an end result (guiding the events in Eric’s life so that he was also there that day, and guiding the events in your life - i.e. your desire or ability to go to the gym at that specific time - that would present you with the opportunity) then of course you wouldn’t believe in fate. It’s would be nearly impossible, I wager, to believe in fate.
But for someone like me, I look at that say, yes, that probably was fate. Fate is *supposed* to feel like fate, otherwise most people would probably feel fairly resentful towards life, constantly feeling forced into very unpleasant situations. But I believe that certain things did and did not work out for a reason, and I believe that to some degree I have choices, but mostly I feel that I have the choice on how I internalize what happens to me. What people do and say to me is not my choice, but how I react and how I feel towards it is my choice. And I think that applies to pretty much anyone, spiritual or not.
But I do believe in a higher power; I just don’t believe that higher power is manipulating - or even guiding - my choices. I think, in my opinion, that God is not creating a path for me but allowing me to create my own and watching over along the way.
I think that gets into a completely different topic area, though! Haha.
And you’re right, fate and coincidence are the SAME thing. It just depends on who you are/what you believe for what you’ll call it!
Haha, well then we have different ideas on the role of God in our lives. I certainly think world is much more than simply television for God to sit back and enjoy while eating popcorn. There are definitely people who believe that though, but it’s certainly not the typical Judeo-Christian God.
I have to disagree. I believe in fate and and in soulmates. I believe that there is one person meant for you and God leads you to that person. I believe that you have to have faith that this will happen someday and that you cannot just sit back and do nothing but rather be out searching open minded.
But what if something happens to that person? Does that mean there’s no one else out there for you?
Good point!!!
I don’t believe in soulmates, either. The concept of my happiness and ability to give and receive romantic love depending solely on one person is just ridiculous to me. If Lucas and I were to end our relationship, that would suck. A lot. I would be devastated, and I’m sure he would too. That doesn’t mean that I would never find someone else who would love me and whom I could love in return.
What does “soulmates” mean to someone who has found their “one true love” then lost their partner through tragic circumstances? Should they not be allowed happiness with anyone else, because they’ve “had their chance”? I don’t think so.
Awesome post, Amber!
You articulated my thoughts EXACTLY. Yes, if Eric and I broke up I would be DEVASTATED.
BUT, my life would go on and I would love again.
Just like my feelings on fate and karma, I have mixed feelings about coincidence as well. I do believe that sometimes things just happen but am not sure if I attribute that to fate or coincidence. As for soul mates, you’re using it terms of romantic relationship but it could be any relationship. I think the term I use more often is kindred spirits. There are definitely some people I am more drawn to than others because we share the same deeper understanding of things, views of life, etc. As for being in a romantic relations I completely agree that you choose to love the person you are with. I could be compatible with any number of men, but I most certainly choose to love the one I do.
“I believe in love”. Earlier this year my boyfriend, Tim, and I were going through some tough times. I wrote a bit of a post about it and said the exact same thing. I believed in love, and I believed in my relationship. I know that it is inherently good and that sometimes bad things happen.
But, I do believe in fate and magic and beautiful things such as those. It makes life seem a bit more mystical and that there is somebody, somewhere looking out for us and creating events for us to experience.
I am going to disagree with you here, but I think it’s because we are two different personalities with two different views and that’s what makes the world go round. So instead of arguing, I am just going to state WHY I believe in Fate/Soulmates (THOUGH, I do believe that a lot of things people call fate ARE coincidence).
Okay, and I am speaking as someone who has been with their high school sweetheart for 10 years (I was his first girlfriend, he was my 3rd - but 1st TRUE - boyfriend) - that doesn’t give me more experience, just my background info - oh and we have been married for 6.5 years (as of yesterday!)
Anyhoo - I will make this quick. Danny and I flirted our way through high school and many “missed opportunities” - in fact we were supposed to go on a date one night and I stood him up because some people I was trying to fit in with didn’t like him (yeah, I used to conform in high school). He was slightly devastated (he tells me now) but was worried something had happened to me, so he let it go. But it stopped him from asking me to prom…we didn’t talk at all after graduation and a couple of weeks into college we ran into each other (coincidence) and got chatting again. I really wanted him to “ask me out” but he was really shy, so I went against all my ideals (I never thought I would ask a guy out) and asked him on a date…the rest is history…
I do think we were fated to be together and that one way or another we would have kept finding our way back.
As far as soulmates…ask me 8 or 9 years ago and I might have said “meh, maybe not” but now I wholeheartedly believe he is my soulmate. Which is sad to say, if something happened to him, I am certain I would move on and I would most likely meet someone new and I am certain I could fall in love. But I know that I would have that one place in my heart that always belongs to him.
(oops, and now I’m crying!!)
So that’s MY opinion on it. But I think it’s okay to have different opinions. It doesn’t make any persons relationship or love any less special.
I think you make some really good points that I agree with. And you’re right, if something ever did happen to Eric, I would move on and love again but I would always have a place in my heart for him.
In my opinion/interpretation the concept of soul mates (in a relationship sense) means that there is only ONE person out there that you can fall in love with and I completely disagree with that. However, that’s only my interpretation of the term!
I agree that you always have a special place in your heart for people, but that is true for me with friends, and others I have met along the way. It doesn’t mean every person I have a special place for is my soulmate.
I’m not quite sure where I stand on the whole fate vs. coincidence issue… or if I believe that there’s even a clear line between the two. I believe that some occurrences can be pure coincidence, and I most definitely believe in the power of choice (that our choices can dictate where we go in life). But at the same time, I wholeheartedly believe in a higher power having a plan for us. My husband and I dated long distance for six and half years before we got married last May, and some things that happened during that time can’t be logically explained as coincidences, nor were they the direct result of a choice that either of us made. Some occurrences felt completely out of our hands, no matter the choices we made or the amount of effort we put forth. But when it comes to how we first met, I definitely consider that a pure (and lucky) coincidence.
By the way, I’m a new reader from 20sb, and I’m really enjoying your blog! You’re a wonderful writer, and you really got me thinking!
I definitely don’t believe in soul mates. I believe there are probably thousands of men who could be my husband or boyfriend and I would be perfectly happy. But I don’t believe there is any such thing as a coincidence–I do believe everything happens for a reason. I guess I am contradictory!!
I totally agree with you on the whole soul mates issue. Love is a choice. It’s not romantic, but I also think it’s how I’ve stayed married as long as I have. My husband agrees — but he also thinks that he and I were destined to meet, that even if we had made different choices, we would’ve somehow. Now, that’s sweet and romantic, and it’s nice that he thinks that. But I have to disagree.
I don’t believe in “soul mates” either - I think there are people you choose to be with, and relationships you choose to work at because you know it’s worth it and you love that person. like a few commenters before me, I’m not sure I agree with you 100% on all-things-coincidence, but I like playing with the idea…
You’re obviously wise/mature (perhaps beyond your years) when it comes to relationships and what it takes to keep them strong !
Wonderfully interesting post Amber
I truly don’t believe that fate brought Kyle and I together nor to I believe we’re soul mates. I think people would be very surprised if Kyle and I split as well. I’m sure that if that were to happen and we had to go our separate ways, we’d both find someone else. However, given the way our lives are heading right now, I doubt that would happen.
Sometimes, if personalities clash too much and a happy-medium can’t come to an agreement, then people break up.
Such a hard topic!
I believe that some things are coincidences… and others are fate. For example, finding out that you and a co-worker both go to the same trainer… what a coincidence. But if you were to misplace your keys and you are a few minutes late leaving your house, and you realize that those few minutes prevented you from possibly being a big car accident on the highway… well… I believe that is fate. I think that we all make our own choices, but a lot of those choices are guided by a higher power.
In terms of soulmates… I believe in soulmates. But I don’t think people only have ONE. My husband and I are soulmates, simply because our souls are attracted to each other and love each other. If something were to happen to one of us, I think the other one would EVENTUALLY move on, hopefully remarry, and love again. This second love wouldn’t be any less meaningful- it would only be different.
Anyway, just my take. I’m not 100% clear on my stance, but it’s fun to think about!
I don’t know if I believe in fate or true love. The way I see it, I’m just a little speck on a planet, so really? who am I to say what is true or not? I am humble enough to know that I can’t begin to comprehend the universe. Having said that, I do want to mention a point about BF and I.
We knew each other for years. When we finally hooked up, neither of us wanted to. At all. Not because of lack of attraction, but because of lack of convenience. Us being together threw an elephant sized wrench in both of our life plans. We even tried breaking up after a while, because it was too messy. But, we couldn’t do it. We can’t not be together. Almost 6 years later and we’re still here, fighting like cats and dogs and compromising for each other, knowing that we can’t be apart, we’re just not capable of it. I definitely can’t classify our getting together as coincidence…. but is true love/fate saying too much?….
Great post!! I don’t believe in fate either! I believe that 2 people work VERY hard to make the relationship work and fate has nothing to do with it. I definitely believe fate is often confused with coincidence. If a lot of things happen because of fate, it would be easy. In my opinion, relationships have some extremely hard moments and making it through those moments makes you grow TOGETHER or causes you to grow APART!
Its funny how everyone sees things differently. I am not sure about fate or soul mates. I do know that i have had many different “soul mate types” in my life. First there was a girl I met at basketball camp my 10th grade year in high school. We were inseparable and we were made to be friends! we have since grown apart and moved on. Then there was this guy I played basketball with my senior year of college. He was perfect for me at the time in the sense of friendship. He was supportive and understanding and we spent a lot of time together because he played for the boys team. But he has since graduated and we live in different cities and dont’ talk. I feel like there are people that come into your life and sometimes leave but they were there when you needed them.
Ill try to explain my idea about fate and meeting people. I think that it is a sort of fate that works…things are supposed to happen. So you can make decisions that will cause something to be delayed, like meeting your future husband but you will eventually meet him. It may be at the wrong time, it may be in the wrong place and things might not work out but it is based on choices. I don’t know if this makes sense but I guess what I am trying to say that part of it depends on us and part of it doesnt because everyone else out there is making decisions too and we have no control over that…so does that make it fate since we dont have control over other peoples decisions? Very interesting post! Thanks!
Love the point you made; we only have control over OUR choices, not other people’s. And sometimes, no matter how much we try to avoid it, other people’s decisions can change our lives. Maybe that is fate?
I really like J’s comment. i think you make total sense. There are some people that i’m friends with only in a particular time of my life because they needed to be there. Like a friend of mine — she was going through a hell of a time with her boyfriend. we because Best friends for now for that entire year. After that, our friendship dissolved, it was really bizarre. But not before i met my fiance, i met him through one of her college friends. it’s like we had to be each other’s BBFN for that time of our lives….but we’re just friends now…
Oh this is deep. And complicated.
I don’t believe in fate. I believe in God. I also believe that God knows what’s in store for us. BUT we are free to make our own choices in life and we reap what we sow. Every now and then, when we ask for something (through sincere prayer) and we unknowingly make the wrong choice to get that thing, I believe that God may (or may not) intervene. At the time it may seem like a coincidence, but it’s more like a gentle push in the right direction. That doesn’t mean that coincidences don’t happen - of course they do: it’s the law of averages. So how do you know if it was a coincidence or course-correction? Much later on, when you realise just how important that incident was. If you can’t remember it, or nothing depended on it, then I’d say it was just a regular old coincidence.
As for soul-mates, I’m torn. The romantic in me wants to believe, is desperate to believe, that there is one guy out there for me and when I see him I’ll *know*. The rational, sensible side of me says that’s not the case. The rational side wins out, but the romantic is just so … seductive.
“Much later on, when you realise just how important that incident was. If you can’t remember it, or nothing depended on it, then I’d say it was just a regular old coincidence.”
AWESOME point. So maybe it was fate that me and Eric ran into each other at the bank that day because obviously it marked a turning point in our relationship.
The idea of soul mates can be terribly romantic. At the same time, I kind of hate the idea that there is only ONE person out there who I’m DESTINED to be with, which is why I don’t believe in soul mates (in the relationship sense).
Wonderful post! I don’t believe in fate, soulmates, or a higher power (I know you didn’t mention a god and such, but it’s on my list of non-beliefs). This leads to a bit of a rant, but not a horrible one. Once a friend asked me (incredulously, I may add) “don’t you believe in anything???” Not believing in soul mates, fate, a higher power doesn’t mean I don’t have beliefs in general. I believe in the importance of being loved and in loving. I believe in trying your best to be a good person. I believe in one’s own strength of character, resolve, and the courage of extraordinary human beings. A bit off topic I know, but in the past when my views have come out, people actually tell me they feel sorry for me because I don’t believe in anything. I say bah! I believe in things (and it hurts when people make it sound like you are a shell of a person). Rant over.
Good point, Joey. I have a future blog post brewing in my head already. I wholeheartedly believe that just because someone isn’t religious does not mean that they don’t believe in SOMETHING or that they don’t have “faith” (in a different sense).
Definitely a topic worth devoting an entire post too! Thanks for your input.
There are some mathematical theories (or philosophies) that state that even coincidences can be pre-determined. If that is the case, doesn’t that sound like fate?
I do agree with you on the soul mate thing. I believe that there are countless women out there, but I chose to be with my wife for very specific reasons (or was it fate?) In any case, I always come to the examples of people who are happily married for decades, and because of death of one person, the other person finds love again with another person. If there were soulmates, this couldn’t happen.
These topics could be endlessly debated, I love discussions like these.
(So long as they don’t end in knife-fights.)
Is a soulmate supposed to be just that one person out there for you? To me, a soulmate is someone fits your puzzle piece. But we are people, not pieces of cardboard, and as puzzle pieces, we are always changing. I think soulmates do exist, and I think that our best friends can be our soulmates, and that if I fall madly in love someday, I want it to be with a soulmate. At the end of Dawson’s Creek, Jack told Jen that she is his soulmate. That describes my thoughts on it especially well. The word soulmate doesn’t have to mean a single romantic partner. To me, a soulmate is someone to whom I feel an inexplicable link. It’s different from love. Luckily, as people, we will feel inexplicable links to all sorts of people, and I don’t walk around worrying that I have “missed” my soulmate.
Well, I agree with you. I do not believe that we have one soulmate, I don’t belive in fate and I don’t believe that our lives are pre-determined in anyway.
I believe we all have the freedom of choice and our lives are the result of the choices we make and in think things happen as coincidences, not because of fate.
I could go on and on, but I’ve got to get to work!!
I’m with ya. I don’t know what makes us special, but I’m keeping it.
Wow. Great post, Amber! I love this:
“Our relationship works because we make it work. The reason I don’t believe in - or particularly like - the idea of soul mates is because it makes it seem like love is fine, dandy and easy. It’s not. It takes sacrifice, it takes making hard choices and it means going through a bit of hurt.”
In my case, I’ve always been the one putting in all the work. Now I see that, but at the time? No. I guess love is blind? Like you said, y’all have made the choice to work through the hard times.
You’re a smart one, Miss Amber! Oh and for the record: I don’t believe in soulmates either.
That was me. Apparently my brain has already left for California…
The idea of soul mates is not for me. I do, however, believe that there is someone for everyone or even a handful of people. The way you meet that person, however, is just total luck.
Completely agree. Love isn’t easy and it takes work. I feel like we’ve had to grow up really fast, dealing with things like redundancy and supporting each other (not just emotionally but financially), separation etc. And sometimes it sucks, and I wish we’d had a bit more time to just ‘be young’, but cest la vie.
Not sure where I stand on fate vs coincidence - for me that is very close to talking religion, etc. How we did meet though was interesting, and however that came to be, I’m glad we did.
I don’t believe in soul mates. I USED to - I used to be a total romantic. But now I just don’t see the soulmate thing as being realistic or possible. I think there are a number of people we can be happy with, and who we do end up with is a matter of circumstance (again, fate? coincidence?)
And yea, to many our relationship looks great. But every relationship has its problems, whether you see them or not. They’re not enough to tear us apart, but maybe in the future they could. I hope not, but I need long term security financially, and I know I can’t carry on this way indefinitely.
I have to think on this one for a bit!! I think I agree with Gracie …
I agree 100 percent. I hate the soul mate deal and I think that has caused a few of my friends to not go on a freaking date wth someone because that couldn’t posssibly be their soul mate. Lame.
I think people probably have different opinions based on how they did or did not meet their significant other. I always want to believe in fate and in my case I don’t think it’s coincidence that man friend and I got together. We both happened to be two people who had sort of given up on finding the one, or anyone for that matter. I had no interest in pursuing him, although I found him attractive. He started coming to my running group and then saw something that made him want to know more. He still remembers what I was wearing at run club the first day I met him.
I think that to me, fate IS coincidence… Does that even make sense? I don’t know… But when I hear your story (about the bank and seeing Eric there) to me that is fate BECAUSE it was such a lucky coincidence… I guess I can make up my own definition of it right?
And about the love/soul mates thing, I’m totally with you! Of course you love the person but I think it is totally possible to meet someone else who you can get along with and eventually fall in love with.
ps: GREAT post! I’m glad the whole coincidence thing happened and you waited until today lol!
Hm…I read your comment that God is letting you live your life and not interfering. And I can’t agree with that - AT ALL. That’s not what the Bible teaches and is not something I believe in. I believe God has a path for me and wants to guide me along that path. I believe there is a man out there for me and our love story and marriage was ordained by God. I don’t believe that God is kicking back, relaxing, while I wander along my merry way. I can’t believe that and have a relationship with Him. (Because then, would it really be a relationship?)
I believe in soul mates in the way that there is a man out for me that I’m supposed to marry. Sure, we can delve into the fact that something might happen to him…but if that’s true, then he’s obviously not the guy who was meant for me. And that’s just what I believe.
I DON’T BELIEVE that love will be easy when I do get married. People these days enter into marriage way too lightly and just run at the first sign of trouble. Love is hard and tough. It takes work. I see this in my regular relationships right now, and it can be even tougher in a love relationship.
But I do believe a guy is out there for me, one that God created just for me. And I can’t wait to meet him!
Hey Stephany - I definitely didn’t mean for this to get into a discussion about religion because I am not religious. I don’t believe everything the Bible says and I don’t necessarily believe in the same kind of God that most Christians do. I do believe in a higher power - but I’m yet to work that out for myself.
Anyways, this is not meant to be a discussion about religion! I do completely agree with your point that a lot of people enter into marriage too lightly these days and that most people underestimate just how hard a relationship can be.
i’m not sure how i feel… very iffy topic but good points…
Good, thought provoking post! I don’t think there is one person out there for us - there has to be more than one person that you are meant for, but I do think it’s a limited # of people. I don’t think you can make it work with just anyone, no matter how hard you try. It’s a combination of chemistry and being mentally stimulated by that other person and having similar goals in life. And then I also believe that there is a master plan, so God is going to bring the right guy into my life.
All interesting to think about, though!!
I remember my college roommate mentioning a book to me once where the author calculated the probability of meeting her wife. They meet on a sitting next to each other on plane flight, which meant there were a lot of things that could have been calculated (the number of seats on the plane, the number of flights,…) so while it may not have been fate, there was a really low probability that it wouldn’t have happened.
I do agree with you in regards to soul mates. I just don’t believe that with the world as big as it is there is really only one person out there. I think there’s probably a lot of people out there who you could work really well with, but it really comes down to who you actually meet!
I don’t think I have ever been prouder of you than when I read this article. If I wanted you to learn anything through your life time, this would be one of the top on the list. You said perfectly what I truly believe.
I love you so much, and I am so proud of you.
Sometimes I wonder just how big of a difference there is between fate and coincidence. I definitely believe in the power of choice, but sometimes I wonder if the two or three things led up to something else, it almost seems like too much to be coincidence. But then again, I don’t know. I don’t think someone is puppeteering my life either.
As for soul mates, I don’t know. When I think about the BF and think about how right it all seems, I can’t ever imagine myself with someone else. But I don’t know if that means we’re soul mates or not. We certainly have to work at our relationship just like anyone else. So soul mates, no I guess I don’t really believe in them.
You are cute. I like your vigor. I believe that fate and coincidence go hand and hand. I think they can be interchangeable. It is a heart v. head kind of debate. Sure, most things are coincidence, but our society has made it a more romantic to say that fate is at work when people fall in love.