Dear, people who keep telling me to “enjoy” my last year of school
I know where you’re coming from, I really do. I get that the “real” world (as opposed to this fake one I’m living in) is a lot tougher then it seems to be. I get that you miss college.
A lot of people keep telling me that they really miss the flexibility and being able to just “hang out” all the time. I’m sorry, what?!
My day starts around 6:00 AM every morning and goes until at least 6 or 7 PM every night and these are just hours that I’m AWAY from home. I then come home and do 2-3 hours of homework/freelance/blogging stuff every night.
It involves me racing from the gym to work to classes to meetings to interviews with barely any breathing room in between. On Tuesdays I go from 10:30 to 6:30 of straight class/meetings with only one short break where I’m usually scrambling to get caught up on assignments/freelance stuff. Last semester it was 8:30 to 6:30.
I put in at least 40 hours per week of “unpaid” work between going to classes and doing homework. On top of that I have three, count em, three, part-time jobs. Does that really sound like fun to you? Really?
Now, don’t get me wrong, I did get the laidback, easy going college experience for my first 2-3 years of college. I lived on campus and I remember all too well how wonderful it was to go home between classes. Sleep in late when I didn’t have school until 11 or even 1 PM some days. I remember going out on the weeknights and sleeping well past noon on the weekends.
It was wonderful and, yes, I miss it.
But this year, my final year of college, is nothing like that.
It’s stressful, it’s busy, it’s full of commitments, to-do lists and projects everywhere I turn.
So I know you mean well, but please STOP telling me to “enjoy” my last year of college because I’m going to miss it when I’m done. I’m going to miss the first couple years, yes. But this year? Good riddance.
Love,
Amber
XO
PS: I hope I didn’t offend anyone with this post. I know you all mean well. But my life is really stressful right now and I don’t really appreciate the whole, condescending “you’re gonna miss these days” speech that I keep getting everywhere I turn. I get that the real world is tough, but so is going to school. It’s not the candy and roses that everyone seems to remember it being. At least not for me!
{ 42 comments… read them below or add one }
I sympathise, I really do. Although my undergrad degree was, overall, fairly laid back and relaxed for me - I wasn’t balancing as much as you, though. Now that I’m doing my Masters, working and blogging it’s getting a bit more hectic. Plus, it’s really hard to get into this course (they only accept the top 10 applicants based on an entrance exam) so everyone’s like : yay! enjoy it.
Only, it’s not as much fun as being an undergrad. Now I have lecturers messing me about and I don’t have so much time for friends and I’ve got at least half a dozen things on my mind at any one minute. It’s stressful and not enjoyable and I will be glad when this is done.
My issue with the whole ‘make the most of it’ thing is that I believe that you should enjoy the good stuff in your life when it happens. That you should make the most of it every day - not just during a particular part of your life. I’m happy now that my life’s more hectic and I can’t sleep in all the time. I’m enjoying this part of my life.
All said and done, I don’t know whether to think you’re crazy for all the work you do, or really amazing. it’s a lot to take on board, girl.
I think when people say this to you, they must not realize that you don’t live the life of a typical college student. I definitely miss my college days, but they weren’t like yours were. I worked 2-3 jobs, but most of my hours were evening waitressing shifts, so I often had my afternoons free to work on homework, etc. So even though I was working quite a bit, I had a lot more flexibility compared to my current schedule!
I totally understand your annoyance with that comment, though. The good news is that you don’t have to hear them for much longer!!!
my final year certainly wasn’t like this. But i totally get why you’re anxious for school to finally be over. I had a severe case of senioritis. I only had 1 class the final quarter (we are on a quarter system - 10 weeks). So i had completed all my classes & only had to take one more. But naturally for the rest of that time I was working and doing my own thing.
Now that I look back, I wish i stayed 1 more year (i did 4 years - with the summers working, no school) and took more classes to really broaden my horizon, but I was truly done, done, done with school. I can’t even fathom going back now. I don’t even know what i’d go back to school for!
I admire the schedule you operate on, you make me appreciate what I have now! =)
This whole thing is sorta what I was talking about in my post last night. Everyone always thinks they have it harder than the next person and that they have to tell the other person, they have it easy and to “enjoy it!” Annoying!
One of the most difficult things about college for me was that fact that everyone expected it to be amazing and fun all the time and it simply wasn’t. Sure, sometimes it was fun. But often my life now is fun too. Yes, I think I had less responsibility in college, but it wasn’t necessarily less crazy or any better. One of my friends went from working 70 hour weeks at a business back to grad school this year. I asked her how it was going. She was like… the work I’m doing feels a lot more pointless. This sort of sums up college for me. You do all this work but it’s not FOR anything- it’s not like any kids benefited from the ridiculous number of lesson plans I wrote, etc. Now when I sit down to plan something, kids will actually do it. That makes a huge difference in my motivation and how I feel at the end of the day.
Anyway, point is- I’d never tell you to enjoy it- get through it and see what you think about the real world next year. I have to admit that my weekdays are much crazier than they were in college, but now that I am in the swing of teaching and my master’s is done, my weekends are SO much more relaxing! You are almost done, you can do it!
I didn’t go to a “real” college, I went to a technical school to get my Digital Media degree but my friends who did the university route were the most miserable I had ever seen them their final year in school and I always felt so bad for them. Good luck girl! You’re almost done!!! <- Ironically that’s the WORST thing you can say to someone running a race!
LOL!
oh darlin.
I think your last year of school is sort of like child birth. It’s hectic, it’s painful, and when it’s over, you’re reeling and you have this new thing called freedom that you have no idea what to do with, but you’re pretty sure you love it.
And gradually, you forget how awful the part was before it was over. And everyone tells you you’ll miss it - because everyone else forgot about the pain.
*hug*
I feel you - breathe through the pain, and get to the end.
My last year of college was weird. I took fewer classes so I’ve have more time to hang out, but then none of my friends wanted to do anything. I ended up going home most weekends until some friends randomly invited me out and I met my now boyfriend.
These few years of the working work haven’t been “real” either though. I’m in a crappy low paying job that is nothing like I want to do for the rest of my life. But I needed to get out for a while before attempting grad school which starts this fall. That year is going to suck with all the work. I just need to be Samantha Brown and get paid to go on vacation. That would be nice.
It’s stressful, it’s busy, it’s full of commitments, to-do lists and projects everywhere I turn.
funny, that sounds just like my life right now, 12 years out of college.
By the time I was a senior I couldn’t WAIT to get out of school. I understand!
You are most definitely living in the real world at this moment and you juggle it all so well. I am pretty sure that most wouldnt handle it all with as much grace and ease as you do.
Dude, you won’t miss it. At least I don’t. Some parts you’ll miss, but generally, it’s good to be out in the world. Making money, having just one job (if you’re lucky).
Andrea said it beautifully: “Everyone tells you you’ll miss it - because everyone else forgot about the pain.”
Thinking of you.
My senior year was a lot like yours now, so I get where you’re coming from. When I think of college I think of those first few years.
Hang in there! I think you’re absolutely amazing and I admire your motivation and dedication!
I think people who tell other people to “Enjoy” the last year of college are remembering their first year of college. My last year was brutal! I applied for a course over load so I was taking seven classes in one semester, I started having to sleep in a common area at school between classes so I had enough energy to write my papers, and I had five 30+ page papers due in one month. And then I had exams.
I say just get through, never mind enjoying it! I’ve found that the ‘real world’ is actually way better than school, no questions asked.
Especially in your field, the first year out of college is so much easier! Oh, sure, there are bills — but you can also actually feel like you’re done with a project if you work any sort of 9-5 job.
Oh I hated college. Really. I blame college and what I tried to force it to be (I wasted two years trying to be friends with people I didn’t actually like very much) and it’s really been hard recovering from that. Plus, I always worked and I did my diabetes advocacy, website producing and blogging all on the side.
My point was, in the last post you wrote about this, don’t idolize the future either. I’m not saying college is the greatest thing since sliced bread because I certainly prefer NOW to THEN. But I’m just saying that working full-time and bills and keeping up with friends and family and a boyfriend is just as hard as it is right now (albeit with a bit more stability). And if you’re anything like me, you’ll still do freelance projects, and blogging and other things in addition to whatever full-time job you get. So… just… I don’t know, I always thought things got easier after college when you’re an Independent Woman. And in some cases, yeah, it totally is easier, but it’s a heck of a lot harder too. But I would totally choose this over that.
My good memories are definitely of the first two years of school, studying abroad and nothing more. Definitely nothing about this semester that I will miss! My schedule isn’t as busy as yours but just the stress of studying for exams is something I am much looking forward to being over with.
I’m with you, it’s all BS
I graduated last May and I have SO much more free time and enjoy my life so much more!
I’m so torn. I had a CRAZY senior year of college so I know that school is not all bubbles and happiness. I had student teaching, I was a resident assistant, I worked 2 part time jobs at school and I drove home every other weekend to work part time at home. Plus, I had classes and extra curriculars on top of it all. It was HECTIC and some days I just wanted to give it all up and crawl into bed.
Now that I’m working, it is 1000X worse. Looking back, I was so busy my senior year but it doesn’t even compare to now. Maybe because I was doing things I really really loved when I was in school and it didn’t feel so “real world” as it does now.
MY POINT….everyone has a different journey. It’s hard for anyone to tell you what you have right now is easy and how it’s going to be so much harder. It could be the complete opposite for you (which I hope it is…because your schedule you have now is definitely rough). Only you will truly know when you go through it. Forget all of the now vs later. Make the most of everyday…good or bad…it might be all that you have
I feel the same way. I’m not exactly a “traditional” college student, and it drives me absolutely crazy when people assume that I am. Or that somehow just because I happen to be in college means that I don’t have a stressful life, or that I don’t have to work or something. I am personally looking forward to finally graduating, only because then I’ll only have to do my career, personal stuff, and home stuff. NOT school on top of all that. So amen, Amber, amen.
Do you graduate this May? Congrats!
I get where you are coming from 100%. I graduated last april with an honors degree. People told me that I was so lucky to be in school and not working. Because working was soo much harder. I have news for them. I am working now at a “real” job and it is nowhere near as hard as school. Because when I get up and leave work, I am done. In my last semester of my degree, I couldn’t sleep for more than 4 hours at a time due to stress. I was in tears nearly every weekend over assignments that I would spend twenty hours on and get less than 50% on. And yes, that was far above average. So, work is easier. And (bonus) you get paid.
I can relate. My last year of college I was completely over-booked (and I don’t think I was doing 1/3 of what you are). But I burnt out… HARD.
I’m not going to tell you to just “enjoy it” cuz clearly you’re not enjoying it right now. But, I do have some unsolicited advice– TRY to schedule in some down-time. It seems like you might need it. I know you’ve said that you have a hard time doing NOTHING, but sometimes even the “fun” stuff (blogging, running, etc.) can feel like “work” if you have to cram it in between 8,000 other things.
The grass *is* always greener on the other side… and many of us who have fond memories of college do look at it through rose-colored glasses. That doesn’t make your experience any less stressful. Hang in there!
Dude plain and simple your super women!!!
I couldn’t do a day in the life of Amber right now…..i have no idea how you have enough time in the day to do all the things your doing. But i commend you on it, if you can handle it all, go right a head. I’m so excited and happy for you!!! Your almost most done. And in my opinion you’ve been living in the “real world”
I LOVE working. I have been glad to be out of school since the day I graduated. Not that I didn’t have TONS of fun at school, but I actually feel like my life is much more flexible now. Sure sometimes I have to work late or on weekends, but that’s rare. Generally, the biggest positive difference between work and school is that when you’re working you leave for the day - and it’s OVER. No homework. No feeling guilty when you do something fun because you should really be studying. And hello! Having a flexible schedule is pretty useless when you’re a broke student! Having money is another huge bonus to working instead of being in school.
I think you’re going to love it. Just get through this last year of school. hahah.
Yikes - people are telling you to enjoy it. I will tell you to do what I did in my last semester of my 10th year of university in a row!! Dive in, get’r done, and know that it will be over. My last semester was seriously HORRIBLE. I know exactly how you are feeling.
Haha, I remember people telling me that! And at this point, in your last semester you’re probably ready to just have ONE job and not have the responsibility of classes, etc. I remember people saying that to me and thinking “shut up, I’m sick of being a student!” Hang in there.
I agree. I’m ready for the real world. bring it on. It cant be worse than going to school full time, working part time and juggling a life somewhere in between.
Well I’ve ever said that, I’m very sorry!
I remember my last semester at college… filling out applications, working on my final paper, working 40+ hours a week as a nanny, studying my butt off to get out of college with honors. It’s not always fun & games in college and perhaps some of those people who say that to you didn’t work as hard as you did or relaxed the last year cause they were in denial.
You’re working your butt off and honestly, it will probably serve you well as you transition from college life to the next big thing post-college. Won’t be such a shock to you which is great and something a lot of us probably wish we didn’t have to deal with.
I doubt I’d ever tell someone to “enjoy” school while they still can. Every person has different experiences. My brief stints in a “typical” school were horrible. The motivation and time management necessary to stay on top of everything and succeed was way beyond my abilities. Frankly, I’m flat out amazed at what you’re accomplishing right now since I never could.
Life changes when school isn’t in the picture. And yet, I think it really comes down to what you make of every situation. You can enjoy each and every day if you have the right mindset.
From my experience, post secondary schooling is never easy and you feel like you’re caught somewhere between been a teenager and being an adult. I found the last year/18 months so stressful, trying to complete school, work part time, have some semblance of a life, and then people keep asking you “so, what do you want to do with your life?”
Um. I DON’T KNOW! stop asking! Truth be told, I’m 8 years out of college and I still have no idea what I really want to do! HA HA
But I have to say, those last 18 months totally served me well in transitioning to working full time after school was done and it wasn’t such a shock to my system as it was for other friends who didn’t work while going to school.
Hang in there!!
Girl, I know how you feel. Granted, you are much busier than most college students I know, but my senior year was totally jam packed busy while everyone else was kind of on their way out, mentally speaking. I was always running from one place to another…class, work, practice, PR agency meeting, and then off to lacrosse tournaments many Fri-Sun weekends. UGH. By the time senior year was over, I was completely exhausted and took about two months off (spent it at my grandparents cabin on the Puget Sound in WA) before starting the job search. Hang in there and try to find some peaceful, relaxing moments when you can.
I don’t think anyone every told me to “enjoy” my last year of school, but it was beyond stressful and rarely enjoyable. By the last semester, I just wanted it to be over and did whatever I could to get me there. I just had to remember to breathe. Maybe that’s the advice people should be giving: “Just remember to breathe.” And not in the “take time for yourself” way but in the “Ready, set and GO!” way.
You’re almost there! You can do it! And Reading Break I’m sure will be a lovely break from the madness.
I’ve had this debate with a lot of people. Things always look so much better from the people who are on the outside. To you, I’m going to say to “make the best of it”, if that’s possible
I LOVE working full time. I have SO much more time and energy! Your after hours time is actually your own. And it’s so much less stressful. Especially in my case, last year having to help support my partner (on a student sized income no less).
I remember thinking that I wanted to punch people who said that to me…my last 2 years of college were insanely busy. I think we should all just enjoy where we are, but man, having someone else tell me that? ARGH.
I don’t know why people make the “real world” out to be so difficult. I have so much more time for myself now! I get to work somewhere I love, and when I go home my job stays behind - unlike school where it was always homework homework homework, and working part time on top of full-time classes. Good riddance to that, for sure! I love taking care of myself and living my life, not waiting for it to get started.
Wierdly, I really do miss my last year of college. I love to be busy and I was plenty busy with everything. The only positive of life right now is my paycheck. I’d much rather be a professional student. Most of my friends feel the same way. But we are teacher nerds.
Amen, girlfriend. I know we’ve talked about this before and it still holds true.
I hear you! I never really did the “typical college” thing (sleep till noon, pull all-nighters, go out on Monday nights). It’s just not me. I love to be busy. I don’t have class most days until 11am, but yet I am up every day by 7am to head to the gym and I work part-time. No, I have nothing compared to the crazy schedule you do and I look up to you a lot, I truly don’t know how you do it all! But I definitely sympathize with what you’re talking about here! I’m sorry you’re stressed, hang in there!
I remember senior year of college one of my friend’s professors told her the following, “They don’t call college the best time of your life because its so amazing, but only cause the rest of your so much worse.” Probably not what you were looking to hear, and probably not completely true either. I do think people have a way of looking back on things with an eye of nostalgia. I do strongly remember that in grad school, I looked forward so much to a time when I could come home from work and not have to do homework. I know this comment was a little all other the place, but I guess whether you don’t want it to end or can’t wait for it it too, soon college (and everything else in life) will soon be over, and you’ll be moving on to something else!
Uh oh, I get what are you saying. I would say what I miss is having the freedom to fill my day up with things I choose. Also having summers to do whatever you would like…within reason. But I also didn’t have a job in college, just student leadership roles to keep me busy. I think about it now and I feel that my job dictates where and when I can do things. Chicka Boo.
I totally get where you are coming from. everyone has different experiences in college and not everyone’s is full of partying and sleeping in etc. etc. I know I have told you before to enjoy your last year and honestly, I do miss college sometimes. my senior year wasn’t easy though either. working as an editor on the paper kept me super busy, sometimes staying in the newsroom all night and walking back to my dorm at 7 a.m. just to sleep for 2 hours before going to class! so I know your pain. what I miss and what I wish I had enjoyed more was all the friends I made. senior year I was so busy that I didn’t take advantage of all the social activities I could have done. and now that I’m out of school and work from home, I don’t have as many friends or get to “hang out” like I did in college. so when I tell you to enjoy your last year, it is really me wishing that I had enjoyed MY last year more… does that make sense?
anyway, I totally know how busy you are and I know you are definitely living in the real world! I am always amazed by all that you have on your plate and how you seem to accomplish it all with such…. grace is the best word I can think of right now.
so, I pledge to not tell you to enjoy your last year
and I’ll join you by saying good riddance! haha.
oh, and don’t worry, you didn’t offend me!
p.s. I’m so glad you got your package and that you liked it!! yay
and I got your Valentine’s Day card the other day. so so cute! thanks for thinking of me! it was really sweet to get it in the mail.