In honour of Eric and I reaching the three month mark of our LDR. Inspired by one of my dear friends beautiful writing style.
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A long distance relationship is waking up an hour early to talk on the phone with him before he goes to work because of the hour time difference. It’s running out of class with your phone in hand when he calls because you haven’t had a spare moment to talk all day. It’s feeling upset when he doesn’t answer, wondering where he is or what he’s doing. It’s saving his voicemails so you can hear his voice when he’s at work.
A long distance relationship is seeing each others blurry faces through the webcam and making kissy faces. It’s leaving the webcam/computer on even while he’s playing x-box and you’re reading blogs; not speaking to each other but you’re “together”. It’s feeling a little upset when he has people over so he can’t go on webcam with you that night.
A long distance relationship is spending a weekend in tears due to a miscommunication. It’s anxiously waiting for his call to clear up the miscommunication. It’s trying to understand that he’s been working for 30 hours and therefore grumpy, but not really understanding at all. It’s crying yourself to sleep.
A long distance relationship is lonely. It’s trying to find the time to have a decent phone conversation. It’s falling asleep cold and lonely. It’s making hard choices. It’s sometimes wondering if it would just be easier to break up. It’s knowing that it wouldn’t be.
A long distance relationship is about growing and learning to live on your own. It’s about fixing the closet door – or trying to – because there’s noone to do it for you. It’s taking on a million things so you never have a moment of downtime. It’s keeping a knife by your bed and putting a 20-pound weight in front of your bedroom door so noone can come in and kill you while your sleeping. It’s sleeping only on your side of the bed and never venturing to his.
A long distance relationship is incredibly hard. It’s the wake-up call you needed to show you this is what you want; he is the one. It’s all worth it in the end.
{ 28 comments… read them below or add one }
Wow, that is really sweet! Brings back some sad memories, but it’s all so true!
I hope you and Eric can be back together soon!
This was so beautifully written – it almost made me cry! Hang in there!
Beautifully written! LDR’s are hard, but what you have is worth fighting for. I can’t wait for the day when you two can be together again. This time apart sucks, but I think it will make you appreciate each other even more!!!
you are amazing and so strong! i hope you guys get to be together again soon!!! xoxo
This brings back memories – I remember those feelings well; it wasn’t technically a LDR but a few years ago I was with a travelling performer who’d be home for a couple of days and then on the road for two weeks, then back for a pitstop at the airport and onto another country for a month – it was really, really hard, and I totally empathise. Stay strong *hug*
Awwww, you are doing so great! I cannot believe it has been three months already! I’m sure it feels like longer to you without Eric, but I’m glad it’s making you realize even more how important he is to you and how much more sure you are of him being the ONE!
That is so sweet. Wish there was something to make the time fly by until you can live together again! ♥
Oh, Amber. I’ve got tears in my eyes over this post. So beautifully written. So honest. So true. I know all of those feelings you speak of and I wish I could give you a big hug or be there to hang out on the weekends. I am very glad that you are able to turn this crappy situation into something fantastic and to reinforce what you already know: that Eric is the one.
(and thank you for the lovely shoutout; that was very sweet of you and totally caught me off guard! You’re sneaky
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Great post! I can relate to everything you said in that post, as I did the long distance relationship for close to a year. I said throughout my LDR experience that it sucks (which it does), but if you can make it through those months apart, your relationship can withstand anything that life throws at you in the future.
Hope you have a great weekend!
well well well. i must say first off, thank you for making me cry. im at work, and now my eyes are puffy and red. GREAT!!
so beautifully written, and im so happy for you that you and eric are making it work. clearly, me and shayne were not meant to be. but this is exactly how i felt about long distance relationships. up until last night, when he screwed me over. im really happy for you though amber, and i love you!
I love it, it’s perfect and explains LDR’s amazingly. I’m lucky enough to have never been in one but they’ve come up in discussion and make my heart ache.
And I can relate to locking down the house to keep myself safe when I’m home alone.
sooo true! my boyfriend and i had a LDR when he was at college. He was only an hour and a half away but its still hard! great post– made me tear up!
I liked this. Very well written and straight from the heart. Some of those things were things I never would have thought of…web camming just to “hang out”. I guess I’m not much of web cammer, but when it’s all you have, it’ll do the trick. And ha ha to keeping a 20lb weight in front of your door. I’m paranoid like that too so I totally feel ya.
I liked this. Very well written and straight from the heart. Some of those things were things I never would have thought of…web camming just to “hang out”. I guess I’m not much of web cammer, but when it’s all you have, it’ll do the trick. And I’m sure sometimes just seeing his face can make everything better. And ha ha to keeping a 20lb weight in front of your door. I’m paranoid like that too so I totally feel ya.
AW you guys are so cute! I love that you have the webcams on when you guys aren’t even talking. There were no webcams back when I was in an LDR haha…though I think it would be a little weirder to use one of those when you have a roommate anyways haha. Anyway, I know it’s hard but I’m really glad you two are still stronger than ever
I hear you on the closet door thing, I have had to get a little creative with myself since my Eric has been coaching football 24/7. Who knew I couldn’t open a tomato sauce container on my own? haha
This is so sweet!
Chris and I definitely leave the webcam on for hours while we do our homework not even talking. It’s amazing how much better it makes you feel!
In a way though, there are a lot of good things about a long distance relationship. It certainly puts your relationship to the test, but you probably want that before you make a commitment to each other. Also, it makes you appreciate the time you do spend with him so much more!
awww this made me sad
it sure is hard. i can’t wait to get back and see my girls tonight. thank god for webcams. isn’t skype awesome?
That was such a beautiful post… It gave me goose bumps and, I have to say, made me teary-eyed! Eric is very lucky to have you
And you are totally right – it is all worth it in the end!
This is a beautifully written and melancholy post. Even for those who haven’t been in a LDR, you really paint the picture with all its highs and lows for us. Thanks for sharing.
T and I had such an old fashioned LDR when he was in training – no cellphones, no technology allowed; we just communicated by snail mail. Still have all the letters he sent!
It really is hard, but if you can survive this, you’ll be able to survive pretty much anything life throws at you guys in the future. One step at a time
I was in a LDR for three out of the 4 and a half years of our relationship. It’s everything you said and more. Even though it ended, I would never take it back. It WAS worth it.
Beautiful Lady! That was really great. I understand what you mean completely. Don’t worry, this will be a small part of your lives together. The time and experience will make you stronger as a couple and probably better communicators lol…
That is beautiful!!! Congrats!!
This is such a sweet post Amber. I love the idea that you keep the webcam on while doing separate things just so the two of you can be together.
LDR’s are hard. I commend you guys for making it work so well. Is it only temporary or is it more of a long term thing?
It sounds like your LDR is perfect for you, and will be even better when it doesn’t have to be that any more!!
Congratulations on being the right mix of stubborn, dedicated, honest & good humoured to work through this, it sounds like you’re doing all kinds of good.
Awwww you made me smile!!!
You and Eric are so cute!!