Do I look tense in these pants?
I’m going to follow-up yesterday’s post about how present and relaxed I feel when I’m running with how stressed I am, apparently anyways.
On Wednesday I got into a discussion with my friends about stress. I told them that even with all the things I take on; two part-time jobs, a full-time course load, freelancing, working out daily etc. I don’t really feel stressed often.
They rolled their eyes and me and informed me that I look stressed.
They said that I always look tense and act jittery. When I think about that, I guess they’re right, I’m constantly moving even when I’m sitting still I’m tapping my fingers or shaking my knee. I’ll be the first to admit that my mind is running a mile-a-minute with all the stuff I’ve got going on, but I never feel stressed.
They then asked me how often I relax, how often I sit and do nothing. I looked at them quizzically and said, “nobody ever does nothing.”
I’ll call Eric and say, “What are you doing?” and he’ll say, “nothing.” And I’ll get mad at him and say, “you can’t be doing nothing, you must be doing SOMETHING.” I don’t see how people can do nothing, you’re always doing something.
Anyways, I digress. My friends went on to ask me how often I do nothing and I explain that I don’t believe in people doing nothing so they ask how often I relax and I say every day. I am relaxed when I’m a) sleeping b) reading a book c) cooking or d) running.
They kind of rolled their eyes at me and told me that I am not relaxing when I do those things because I always have my blackberry by me so I’m constantly tweeting and emailing. But, on that note, why can’t emailing, tweeting, facebooking etc. be relaxing?
So, even though I don’t necessarily feel stressed, maybe my body language says it all and I actually am very stressed. I do have a lot going on.
I know that I should turn my blackberry off more often and I also know that I need to drink less coffee. I’ve gotten in the habit of having 3-5 cups of coffee on the week days, which I think plays a large factor in me being jittery. So I guess these are some things that I can work on over the next little while.
Are you stressed? Do you think it’s possible to be stressed even though you don’t feel like you are? And how do you relieve stress? Do you ever do NOTHING?
I agree with you, it’s not possible to ever being doing “nothing”. Even when relaxing you’re doing something whether it be watching tv, napping… etc. Everyone does different things to relax and if those things are what relaxes you and helps you unwind then I see nothing wrong with that! If you turned off your BB it would probably make you more stressed once you turned it back on!
I try and being and END my day with nothing.
I always succeed in the am and about 80% of the time in the pm
meditation
UNPLUGGED
SILENCE.
whether I “feel” stressed or not!
before i met fiance – i used to be all jumpy and always having to do stuff, but now i know how to do nothing. not that often, but i can just chill out. I was always having to do something. and i was always tense. now i know how to relax. my moments of “nothing’ definitely is watching tv, and not being on the computer, just enjoying the shows. there is such a thing as doing nothing, you just gotta work your way there.
Hello my twin.
I am the same way. I think some people just run ‘at a higher frequency’. I’m so much like you – and am kind of described as jittery. But even though I am often running around with so much going on, I don’t feel stressed either. Although the last month has been more stressful for me with the new job & the d-bag I dated, but running has been my outlet. And knitting. See for me it’s not relaxing to just sit down and do ‘nothing’. For me, I need to be knitting or working on a sudoku or something like that. Otherwise I get kind of stir crazy if I am just sitting there.
I believe the only time your doing nothing is perhaps when you are sitting there staring into space. Am I stressed, constantly thinking about how to pay my debts (yes plural) off. Wondering if I’ll ever get ahead financially, I’m 44. Yep I’m stressed and the way I relax is by doing something…be it cooking, cleaning, laundry etc….my favourite way is at work! Strange but true. If I’m working that’s a good thing! BTW, while I was reading your post I knocked my 2nd cup of coffee over on my desk…now all I can smell is german chocolate coffee.. Have a great weekend and I wish I could work out everyday, I think my butt would be smaller too.
I am stressed right now … but no, I never do “nothing.” Everyone else seems to, but I am like you – I think that it is impossible to just do nothing.
Maybe you’re so used to always having something to do that you’ve forgotten how it feels to just chill out? I’m not a high energy person at all so being constantly on the go is just draining and I can feel it. If I push myself too far it usually ends in me feeling a) extremely unhappy or b) getting sick.
Sounds like you do have a lot going on, though–it couldn’t hurt to take things just a wee bit easier.
I’m the same way as you. Even if I’m just at home watching TV I feel like I need to do something so I’ll do stretches or pull out some weights or the foam roller. It’s actually kind of ridiculous when I think about it…if the TV is on and I’m not doing anything else I usually end up falling asleep.
I tend to do things while I’m watching TV too, (I like to keep my hands busy), but there’s something to be said to just laying on your couch and doing nothing but watching a movie. No computer or blackberry, no projects, no laundry. If you can’t do that try watching a show like Friends or Seinfeld – much shorter time frame (so you don’t get restless during your relaxing time!) but still some much needed down time.
Imagine what life was like 100 years ago without all of our gadgets and distractions! Yiee.
I like to be doing something ALLTHETIME and try too to fit so much into my day. But I recently read the book “Celebration of Discipline” and silence was a chapter as one of the disciplines. It’s uncomfortable for me sometimes to go for a walk or drive sans music or cell phone, but I need that to hear God’s voice. And it’s even tougher, because our society values PRODUCTIVITY(!!!) more than, say, reflecting on our lives and what we’re actually here for. Socrates’ quote is a challenge for me. “The unexamined life is not worth living”. Hum.
Interesting post – thanks Amber!
I will admit that I do get stressed when I have alot going on, that is the way I am but I work good when I am stressed because I know there are things I need to get done, so I do them! Then, when I accomplish all those things I feel so great:) I am like you in that I always need to be doing something. Whether it is homework, working out, cleaning, etc. and for the most part, I know this might sound crazy, but I enjoy pretty much all of the things I do to keep me busy even if it is school work. What else would I be doing? I used to get really frustrated when I dated my ex because he was okay with sleeping until 11 and watching tv all day and movies all night. Ugh!! I tell ya, for someone who is used to being active and busy all the time, that is very difficult to do!
To relieve stress I work out, have a hot bath, talk to friends, or even just lay on my bed and watch a favorite movie.
So do I believe it is possible to do nothing, no I don’t. Even if you are being unproductive and lazy, you are still doing something.
Oh ya, and I also drink way too much coffee…sometimes close to two pots a day! Yikes!!
Sometimes, I am at my most stressful moments when I don’t FEEL stressed. I guess I keep pushing it out of my mind, but it keeps building up. Sometimes, I do nothing. I’ll just lay on the couch and literally do nothing … even if it’s just for ten minutes. It’s just a breathing period, allowing myself to unwind.
I’m not capable of doing “nothing”. I actually get stressed out when I try to relax because there’s so much to do! Books to read! Stuff to write! Food to make! Even if I’m sitting there quietly, my brain is flipping through the channels and I’m thinking. At a minimum my hands have to be busy so now I crochet while I watch tv.
As for stress, I get stressed out when I don’t know stuff – if my brother/friends are ok in Iraq, how an unexpected bill is going to get paid, while waiting for the results of my grandmothers tests…you know, stuff I can’t control. Ha.
Hmm, i USED to often do nothing – lie on my bed and listen to music and let it take me away. But now I don’t have that luxury. The most relaxing I get is cooking/reading/watching TV. I’m also a fidgeter! Drives people around me crazy.
Let me start this by admitting that I am an adrenaline JUNKIE!!!
I honestly do NOT feel like I am accomplishing anything unless I am doing more than 1 thing at a time…and I rarely feel stressed, in fact, I LOVE to procrastinate because I love that rush before completing things.
I know, that’s terrible. But I can never just do NOTHING. I ALWAYS have to have something going on at some time!! I don’t think that’s unnatural (imagine if I was lazy and just did nothing and then had kids…what a shock that would be!! I just consider it prep!)
I think whenever I say I’m doing nothing it really means I’m wasting time online or watching TV. But mainly watching TV.
I can never not be doing something. I’m always on the go and even though sometimes I wish I had more time to relax I know that I would end up bored out of my mind. Some days this does cause stress but I’m mostly used to it. I think being constantly has it’s benefits because I need to organized and on the ball 24/7.
Amber, you always have great topics.
I die of boredom when I do “nothing” for even 5 minutes haha. I find e-mailing, blogging and all that to be relaxing, but thats just me.
Also, I think I have problems with stress where I push it all into my body so I don’t necessarily THINK I’m stressed, but my body thinks I am. I give off a very non-stressed attitude to other people (because I truly think I’m not stressed) and then let my body deal with it. I’m trying to break this habit but its hard to know when you are stressed I think.
I never thought of it that way – we really are never doing NOTHING. Even if we’re just staring off into space without any distractions, our mind is still going. We’re still thinking. Well, at least I am.
For me, if I don’t FEEL stressed, that’s enough for me. But I do feel stressed a LOT. So I think major props go to you. If you don’t feel stressed, then it works! Maybe your body language is your way of letting out the stress, I don’t know. And I think exercise and eating right has a LOT to do with how you react to stress. If your body is healthy, your mind is most likely healthy, too.
I used to be like you and in many ways I still am. I’m always doing and going. But I have tried to slow down; tried to be present; tried to slow my brain down. I knew I was stressed but didn’t KNOW I was stressed. 4 years ago I came to a crashing halt with anxiety and had to start to learn some new skills. Today I’m still stressed but recognize signs of it better and use running as a way to help moderate the stress levels.
Ha, running counts as relaxing if you want it to! Cooking and reading? also fall into that category in my opinion!
I do feel pretty stressed right now – but along with you, I’m rarely doing “nothing”. I like to be busy though, maybe it’s a personality thing? who knows!!
I am stressed all the time, mostly about work. but, I work in a field that is the epitome of stress, so I guess I asked for it, right? though I do like a bit of stress, it is a good motivator for me. but I do get awfully stressed out pretty often. and when I am that stressed, I get stomach aches. no good. but because of all the stress during the weekdays, I end up being super lazy (doing “nothing”) on the weekends. which kind of bums me out because I want to do more on the weekend but I always just sleep in and watch food network (and catch up on blogs, haha. this is what I am doing today).
anyway, you do have a lot on your plate and you should take more time to do “nothing” as your friends say. get away from the blackberry and just chill with Webster or something!
because stress really isn’t good for you (or me!) health wise. and you gotta kick that coffee habit too! haha. I drink one cup a day usually. sometimes one in the morning and a starbucks in the afternoon. but that’s it because even just that will make me jittery! I can’t imagine drinking 6 cups!
btw, I just saw your comment and I totally don’t mind sending one to Canada. in fact, I’d LOVE to!
I have a very, very, very stressful job. Working out is a big stress reliever for me. And breathing exercises help- I was skeptical at first, but now I’m a believer!
Hahaha, I am VERY stressed, but there are also times where I literally do nothing and enjoy it.
i totally understand! i’m the exact same way and i agree with you 100%!!!!
I find having a bath is the only way I can not be constantly checking the emails/laptop etc, otherwise doing nothing never actually involves nothing.
LOL your post made me laugh
(great title btw!!!)
I totally get it though. I think it’s good that you multi-task your fun stuff when you’re so busy .LIke right now, I’m spending time with my family, while watching a movie, while FINALLY catching up on blogs
Maybe (if you want) you could turn off your blackberry past 9 or 10 or w/e and then it’s just YOU time until bed time 
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