I’ve been officially living on my own for three weeks now. It’s a number of things all at once; it’s lonely, it’s relaxing, it’s tidy, it’s fun, it’s scary, it’s boring.
Do I miss Eric’s presence? Absolutely. Do I miss running the dishwasher every. single. day. and constantly putting the toilet seat down? Not so much.
I went from living with my parents, to living in the dorms with three girl roommates to living with Eric. I never went through the “living alone” phase, so even though I was obviously devastated about Eric moving back to Fort St. John, I was also excited to live alone for the first time. I kind of think it’s something that everyone should experience, you know?
Has it been everything I thought it would be? Yes and no. It’s been both easier and harder than I thought. On one hand it’s kind of fun living on my own, I don’t have to clean up after anyone but myself (and Webster) and I can come and go as I please without feeling guilty. I used to enjoy having the apartment to myself when Eric was at school so now it’s just like having the apartment to myself all the time; except the novelty is starting to wear off a little. I definitely still have some very lonely nights.
Another downside is I’m easily spooked, always have been. I get so spooked that I have to either turn off the TV or change the channel if a trailer for a scary/horror movie comes on. That’s how easily I get spooked; the trailer will give me nightmares. I’ve been doing pretty good but I would be lying if I said there haven’t been a couple nights where I layed in bed with my eyes wide open, too freaked out to shut them and go to sleep.
I also have Webster, who has been a HUGE comfort to me. Sure, he’s just a cat, but I talk to him and it’s really nice to have another living thing in the apartment; he’s good company.
So while I’m enjoying the experience of living alone; it’s not something I’d like to do for a long time. If I didn’t have Eric I think I would want to find a roommate. I’m a very social person and I like to have company around.
So tell me, have you ever lived alone? Did you enjoy it? Would you rather live by yourself or with someone?
{ 37 comments… read them below or add one }
I am the exact same way about being spooked. I cannot watch scary movies alone and I basically have just accepted the fact that if I do watch a scary movie (alone or with someone) I will most likely have a nightmare that night.
I have lived alone three years now and I actually enjoy it. I have done it all, apartment with a roommate, dorms, living in a sorority house… etc, etc. I just enjoy living alone, but it does get lonely. That is one of the main reason I got pets, it’s nice to come home to something and it makes it oh so much better when they’re ALWAYS happy to see you!
Glad to hear you’re doing okay without Eric and focusing on the positive side of it!
man, getting married for me was meeting someone whom I felt was WORTH giving up living alone
it was spooky at times (my favefave place I lived was a one room efficiency as I could not scare myself into thinking someone was hiding in the “other room” as there was NO OTHER ROOM :)) yes but I loved it.
There are definitely pros and cons, but I will admit that when the husband is coming home late at night I always leave a light on until he gets home. You know, just in case something scary happens.
I lived alone for four years in college and LOVED it! No roommate to squabble with, no one to pick up after but yourself. My boyfriend would come visit, but at the end of the weekend it was still me … all by myself. Some of it was in the dorms, but living alone in the dorms can still be lonely. My favorite was when I finally got my own apartment (in the married student housing, no less) and got to have some space to be alone. It was grand!
Still, it’s nice to have someone to snuggle with at the end of the day. :o)
I’ve lived alone for the last eight years (well, there have been kitties, but no other humans). I love it! I crave alone time, though. People and crowds make me cranky, so I like to be able to come home and just veg. Would I ever live with someone again? I’ve been thinking about it and I’m not sure that I’m ready to share my space yet.
H =)
I totally hear you on the dishwasher. When my bf moved in, I was SHOCKED at how many more dishes we went through than when it was just me. And now I run it *maybe* once a week… and only when I’m out of glasses!!
I agree that everyone should live on their own at some point, but it’s definitely hard to go from living w/someone to living alone. I never lived alone until about 3 years ago when I bought my current house. I had recently broken up with my ex-boyfriend, was working and enjoying the single life. It was fun… and hard.
When I met my current boyfriend, we did the long-distance thing for a while and then he had the opportunity to move in with me short-term. It was amazing. We got used to the day-to-day routines, etc. And then he had to go back, so now I’m in the same boat you are. It’s nice to have *my* place back, but it’s also hard to come home to an empty house. I’m lucky to be able to see my boyfriend more often than you see Eric, but it’s still hard.
Hang in there, girl… and thanks for posting. I love your blog!
I agree with you that living alone is good for everyone to do. At the same time, I can see it being really hard for you.
I lived alone for a lot of my 20s, with occasional stints with roommates thrown in, and I remember the getting-spooked feeling!
i lived alone in a 1 br apartment in college before kelley moved in with me. it was glorious, i really embraced it and enjoyed it. now i’m not looking forward to it so much.
I have never officially lived alone- although when I studied abroad in Australia I had a single room which I loved (but a whole dorm full of students does not equal living alone haha). Right now is probably the closest I have come since my fiance is NEVER home. It’s definitely interesting- I get spooked easily too and since the TV is always on when Eric’s home I hadn’t noticed some of the noises our house makes until now. I do think it makes me more productive though- and I go out more often because I don’t really want to be home alone…Good post, very interesting topic!
I moved out of my parent’s house in with roommates, and then went from one roommate to another. I finally (okay, so she got married, and they didn’t want a “Three’s Company” thing going on!) moved out on my own 13 years ago, and wouldn’t go back for the world!! It’s now MY stuff…MY way of doing things…MY kitchen…MY bedroom…MY cats, etc. Of course, this doesn’t bode well for the off chance I actually meet someone and want to move into together…we may have to get suites across the hall from each other!!
Then again, I do have a friend, who has been in a relationship with her man for 5+ years now, and refuses to move in with him. She was always sharing her space (parents, boyfriends) until she moved out eons ago, and likes being on her own. She has her condo, her man has his house, and they switch off where they are staying. But never long term, and never living together.
I went from home, to roommates, to married, to roommate and now I live alone. It was very strange at first, and took a while to get used to it. Now I think I am too used to it. I love having my own space to get away to when I want to.
I really noticed it a couple weeks ago when I share a room with 3 girls before a race. It was awesome, but so loud … I am used to quiet and calm in the morning.
I’ve done both. Freshman year of college, I only had a roommate for three months, so I was alone for an entire semester, but still in the dorms. Then I live with a roommate in an apartment for six months, which was awful and we moved out. Then I lived in a boarding house - like a sorority, but without the sorority. I had some good girlfriends there, but we were all responsible for our own stuff and had a housekeeper. Then I lived in a studio, which was lonely and far from campus.
When I moved to NJ, I lived alone my first year. SO HARD. I had no friends. It was really lonely. Then I lived with another girl in Hoboken, which was OK, but we didn’t hang out together so it was kind of like living alone. Now I live with 2 girls in NYC and it’s much better. We actually get along, go to dinner together, have brunch, watch movies. We’re not together all the time since 2 of us have boyfriends and we all work and are busy. But yeah, it’s been mixed. I think I prefer living with people though, just because it’s nice to have someone around that you can talk to and it’s like insta social life. When you live alone, you really have to work at hanging out with people, and when you’re an adult and working, that can be tough. I think I preferred living alone in college, when it was more guaranteed that I’d be hanging with people.
As much as I love my family and would never wish them away, I crave alone time, so much so that I stay up until 1am on most nights because it affords me the opportunity to be by myself while they’re sleeping. Which really isn’t as desperate as it sounds, nor an excuse to troll the net for porn late at night.
I’m going to shut up now.
Glad you are getting more used to it. I lived alone for three years and loved it. Yes, it was a little scary at first, but you will get more comfortable and do little things to help lessen fright. (I got some tear gas next to my bed! LOL!) Plus the whole cleaning up your mess when you want to is AMAZING.
P.S. Thanks for the support on my blog about my marathon deferrment. It was a tough choice but me and the Redhead are going to have a blast in Chicago.
I lived alone for a year and some change when I was nineteen to twenty (so … basically, this time last year). I LOVED it and would give almost anything to be able to hold onto school and a place of my own simultaneously right now. It makes me look forward to getting through school - I can’t wait to live by myself again. Of course, having the pets around makes it easier, and I’m glad you’ve got the Webstermeister. If it was really, truly JUST me? Probably not so enjoyable.
Hang in there!
I have lived alone recently and I did LOVE it because normally I am running around like crazy so to go home and have peace & quiet is rather delightful.
I have had roommates of all kinds (boys, girls, my parents) and it’s usually fun but sometimes I just need a little time to myself to relax, think and just be.
I can go either way on the living thing, really!
Also, if you have any crazy roommate stories, think about submitting them to my brother’s new blog (myroomysucks.com)! He’d love to have the stories =)
Happy Friday!
I live alone now, and it’s kind of in the middle of nowhere, and I am so spooked, so easily. One night I came home, was getting out of my car, heard the weirdest noises, and I stood there, freaked out, got back in my car, and slept at a friend’s house.
I totally understand, kitten.
No, have never REALLY lived alone. Have lived in a house with two roommates (males w/ gf’s) who were never there, but still not the same. I keep questioning this whole moving in thing (even though I really want to and think it’s right and all) because I always told myself I needed to have a place of my very own before settling down. And now I think the bf would be kind of offended if I said “HEY, i’m moving out of my other place (that I rarely see/visit/live at) and going to rent an apt on my own that costs double the rent.” Hmm…
I pretty much have always had a roommate, but I grew up an only child so that kind of makes it even??!! I like living with just one other person because then you are alone sometimes but not all the time. I freak myself out sometimes at night because I am afraid of being alone cause I dont want someone to break in. Its silly really cause I live in a really safe neighborhood and lock my doors. So really I could go either way - I like to be alone but at the same time I dont’!
I’ve lived alone for 3 years now and I lovvvve it. I actually worry that it’s going to be hard for me to go back to living with people.
I lived by myself for a year and I absolutely loved it! I’m one of those people who craves time alone … Now I’m married and sharing a tiny condo with my husband and missing the days when I could do what I wanted when I wanted
I wouldn’t trade my husband for anything, though! Definitely the best roomie ever!!
I loved living alone! Ya there were lonely times but the freedom was AWESOME!! I was also thinner when i lived alone….LOL
I agree that its something everyone should do. It builds your confidence, for one your making it one your own, you start doing things you didn’t know you could do, you get to know yourself more.
Now I’m married and love living with my wonderful husband, i can’t imagine being without him, i can’t even go to sleep now without him. Gawd i’m needy now lol ;p
PS If your thinking of going to see Love Happens DON’T!!!! Its such a waste of precious money!!! The cheeze was just toooooo thick!!
I would love to live alone at this point. I’ve lived in too many small apartments in New York and then tiny dorm rooms with other people. I live in a house with two guys now, and I get so sick of cleaning up after them. Well, at least I don’t share a bathroom with them.
I do like having people around though, so while it might be a nice change of pace, I’m not sure that I could handle it for a long period of time.
You just made me realize that I have never technically lived on my own. I had my own room for a couple semesters in college, and my own room AND bathroom in an apartment with two roommates, but never my own place. And now I’m married, so hopefully I won’t find out for a long, long time (if ever).
Obviously living with a boy is much different than living with roommates, but when it’s a boy this good, it’s worth the sacrifice.
i lived alone for two years after college and loved it! i did get easily spooked and paranoid sometimes, but i felt safe in my building and never had any problems. i would tell every woman to live on her own for some period of time in her life because it’s a great learning experience and it’s fun! you don’t have to worry about anyone but yourself.
Never lived alone - no way could I ever afford that! One bedrooms in Auckland are soo overpriced, and usually not very nice.
I wouldn’t mind living alone though - I too get easily spooked at night, but I really see home as a (messy) haven and like to just chill at home. I don’t actually really like entertaining people; I’d rather go out or to their houses.
Closest I’ve ever been to living alone was the year in a tiny apartment with BF.
I’ve never really lived alone. I went from having roommates to living with my boyfriend. But as it is when I’m in the apartment myself I get spooked pretty easily. I’m sure I’d be getting freaked out all the time if I was always alone.
I lived alone last year during my first year of law school. It was very much needed! I’m currently living with a roommate again and it’s going really well, but just last night I was at a housewarming for a friend who just moved and I found myself dreaming of having “my” place again. My house now feels like “mine” for the most part, but it’s not the same as living alone.
I haven’t had the chance to live alone yet but I think I would love it! But it could definitely get lonely…
I too was super spooky when I first lived alone, after years at home, dorm, roommates. But I LOVED IT! I loved the freedom of it being MY house. I’ll admit it was def a new experience when I got married and gained a new roommate. But I wouldn’t trade Hubs for the world. He’s the best roommate there is!
I get scared easily alone and with someone else in the house! When my hub is gone I have to sleep with my tv on (i like sleeping with it on anyway but it HAS to be on) and I usually leave a light on somewhere in the house. In the summer time I’ve been known stay awake until 6 am and THEN go to bed if I am home alone haha.. For some reason I was fine about sleeping all alone when I was in an apartment or in a dorm, but this house in the middle of nowhere? not so much..
I have something for you on my blog
I like living alone too, while it can get lonley at time its nice to watch whatever you want on tv, walk around in your underwear and just do whatever
I love living alone as I can have my chill time (usually guilt free watching bad tv or reading in the skivvies-TMI?) but also pick up the phone and text a friend for company or to go out for coffee. But completely agree, no scary movies by yourself!
I’ve never lived alone. I went straight from living with my parents to living with Josh. One weekend, he was gone for a football game in another state, so I had my sister stay over with me. (We had a roommate, but she was often out partying.) So, I’ve pretty much never been alone! Even if I’m alone for a short period of time at night, I get really freaked out. Sometimes even during the day!
I get spooked incredibly easy as well. I live with my family and honestly, wouldnt change it for the world. Eventually the time will come when I have to move away and most likely it will be alone. I get bored easily and just don’t know that I would like it.
I have lived alone for 5 years now. Kind of hard to believe that. I had great roommates in college, but a really crappy one my first year out of school, so after that I decided I had to get my own place. And honestly - I love it. The only roommate I will ever have is a husband! I like having my space to myself. I never get lonely or bored, and I rarely get spooked - but I definitely used to when I first started living alone!
I think you’ll be thankful that you lived alone. I think it’s something everyone should try (if they are able to). You definitely grow and you will be glad you spent some time by yourself. And it will make you appreciate Eric even more when you can live together again.