A Success Story

I’ve re-read this post from RunningLaur many, many times this weekend. My first weekend alone was hard and there were a few tears, but it was also really, really busy. I went to the rodeo, cleaned, organized, ran, cooked, went for drinks with friends, rearranged furniture, the list goes on.

If you missed the post about my big life change, check it out here. Thank you so much for all your amazing and kind words. I’ve read and re-read the comments on this post.

I really like the tips here for making a long-distance relationship work and I think that most of them apply to me and Eric already. Please welcome RunningLaur from When I get a little run run run…

Hi, Girl with the Red Hair readers! This is RunningLaur, and it wasn’t until Amber asked for guest posts on long distance relationships that I realized I’d been in one for 4 years. Of course I knew that I had been in one, but the 4 years thing was a little bit of a surprise. Wow!

A little bit of background for you. The fiancé and I knew each other previously but didn’t see too much of each other until we started dating during a summer break from college. He was working full time in our home town and I was attending college about 2 hours away. At the end of the summer, we decided that we’d try to make things work when I returned to school. 

We never had any sort of official discussion covering “we will see each other every X weeks,” “we will talk on the phone every X days,” or “you can and cannot do X.”. While it may have been a good idea to lay down ground rules, we both had a good understanding of boundaries for ourselves and each other without it.

We spent 4 years like this.  I spent summers at home; falls, winters, and springs 2 hours away; and one semester abroad – during which time we didn’t see each other for more than 3 months.  Now we live together on the other side of the country, and love it.  

So why do I think our relationship worked out so well?

1.  First things first, we really got along well with each other, and had all of the makings of a good relationship either way.  If a short-distance relationship isn’t going to work, a long-distance one isn’t likely to either.   

2.  We both made time for each other, but didn’t require that time be made.  The fiancé was amazing in that he was the one who traveled to see me most often.  I made sure to get my schoolwork done during the week so that I’d be able to spend time with him on weekends.  If the weather was bad and he couldn’t drive, no big deal – it was more important to be safe.  If I had a ton of work to do, no big deal – it’d be worth the wait to see each other when I was sane. 

3.  We still allowed the other person happiness / fun while apart.  I think when relationships lack this, resentments are bound to build.  We always had full trust in the other person, and it always worked out for us.  As a wild college student, I was still able to go out and have a crazy fun time if he wasn’t there (say, a Monday night at the Phyrst, or Wednesday afternoon at Pickles…), because it really was good clean fun.  If he was too wiped out to visit for a weekend, there were no fears that maybe he was really seeing another girl instead. 

4.  We balanced our time together.  Some weekends there were big events planned like football games, parties, and pre-planned shenanigans.  Some weekends we’d just sit around and watch tv, eat a pizza, and sleep.  It gave us the chance to do exciting memorable things together, but also to not have the constant pressure of needing to do an activity.  If we just wanted to relax and spend time together, so be it. 

In the end, our long distance relationship worked because we had a very good relationship in general, and didn’t stress the long distance part of it.  It was a blessing in that it allowed me to devote time to school without guilt.  It taught us that we trust each other exceptionally, and that we can each be worthy of holding that trust.  For us, a long distance relationship was just what we needed at the time, and I’ve very happy to have had it

 Amber here; alright, you guys have already given me TONS of great tips on making my LDR work; so let’s compile them all here on this post. What’s your best, most fun, most original tip for making an LDR work and keeping a relationship going strong over time and distance?