Since Eric and I got in our car accident back in November, I’ve been a little fearful of driving and riding in cars. It’s not so much that I’m actually scared of driving, but I am just really apprehensive and spooky, much more so than I used to be. It gets especially bad when I am going straight through a green light and someone is waiting to turn left as that is what happened in our accident, someone turned left in front of us (on a yellow light) and we hit them. So naturally, people turning left and yellow lights now freak me out more than ever before.
For example, yesterday I was driving home after dropping Eric off at school and I was about to go straight through a green light when a woman in a big SUV pulled out to turn left. She wasn’t just waiting in the middle of the intersection either, she was halfway into her left turn. I got really freaked out and slammed on my breaks, even though I probably could have made it around her and it was my right of way. This caused some confusion because she thought I was giving her the right of way even though it was mine.
I should interject to say that I HATE it when people give other people the right of way when it’s not. That is one of my biggest pet peeves and I think that causes so many accidents. Yet that is what I did because I was terrified that if I kept going she would turn in front of me before I had the chance to stop.
Another fear I now have is driving with Eric in the city. Eric is an excellent driver, and I don’t blame him at all for the accident, but I tend to get really nervous when he’s driving in the city. When we were in Vancouver last weekend I kept feeling my heart race and gripping the door when we’d come up to lights and intersections. Once we got out on the freeway I was totally fine and even fell asleep, it was just when we were driving in the city that I got really nervous. Now that I think about it, I get pretty nervous when I’m the passenger with anybody these days. It seems to be especially nervewracking when I’m driving with Eric though.
I know the accident was six months ago, but remember that we just recently started driving again as we didn’t have a vehicle for a long time. So perhaps that’s part of why I feel so nervous, because neither of us have done much driving for the last six months. I really hope it goes away soon. I don’t want to be a nervous driver for the rest of my life and I honestly believe that nervous drivers cause a lot of accidents.
What do you guy’s think, will it go away with time? Have you ever been in a similar situation?
{ 16 comments… read them below or add one }
i have a hard time giving up control of driving. so with my vision (well it's pretty darn stable as of the April appointment I've had), but since I'm not technically in compliance with the MD state law — but I do have a doctor's written permission to drive, so it is legal. hector & i got in a fight about driving & now if we're together, I let him drive. that's that. and i try soooo hard to keep my mouth shut. My biggest issue is I have not been in a car accident ever, *knock on wood* and he has been in several, and most were his fault. so of course I get nervous. I mostly try to ignore him, and just pay attention to the road, and only speak up when I really think he doesn't see something. it's tough, but I bite my tongue so not to piss him off!
a lot of people, when they drive, they don't think ahead. I'm always checking my mirrors, and thinking what my next step is when it comes to driving, especially in the city. i try to plan out my route ahead of time.
I personally haven’t been in the same situation. I really think it varies from person to person (which doesn’t really answer your question at all!). My dad has a really irrational fear of fires since his business burned to the ground about 12 years ago! I suspect this is because he still feels how much he lost out of the entire tragedy and, well, fire is really scary. This is not to say that car accidents aren’t but I think that, in your case, you should be a bit better after having enough positive driving experiences. Perhaps you are actively thinking about crashing when you’re driving?? Maybe you might have to really make a diligent effort to not think about the risks associated with driving. All in all, I think, with time, you should be fine =)
LOL I’m a great backseat driver to Steve!! LOL He has done most of the driving for the past three years. But only because when we met he didn’t have a car and I thought it would make him feel more manly if he drove…lol sounds stupid but he’s been driving ever since. I still freak out on him sometimes when he doesn’t see something or is driving too fast. Meanwhile I can do whatever I want and go as fast as I want. Him and I haven’t been in any accidents but I have been in one with Lester (my cousin). It took sometime to get over it but I’m fine now, I think it just takes time. The more you and Eric drive the less nervous you’ll be.
How’s the new car doing, did you name it yet?? I have a terrible memory these days ;p
Katrina
I think it will be something in the back of your mind for a while — but it’s likely that it will go away with time.
I haven’t been in an accident, but for some reason I’m really uncomfortable with driving in larger cities/centers. And then I’m a backseat driver…and then tension ensues with my husband. For some reason I’m hyperaware that we COULD get into an accident, so I’m half assuming we will.
I think it is completely normal to go through this after an accident. A friend of mine was in a very serious car accident and she still can’t drive in certain areas. I think it will probably fade with time, though, and that you will get more comfortable the longer you go without anything out of the ordinary happening.
Awww Amber! *hug* I totally understand your fear! John and I had an accident on the highway (slipped on ice) and I’ve been afraid of driving on the highway since. To be honest, I kind of just ignore my fear though…I think it’ll go away in time.
It’s totally understandable that you’re still scared. Car accidents are very scary! It’s hard to say if your fear will go away since it is always on your mind. The best advice I could give is to be a defensive driver (like you are now). Always being aware that you could get in a car accident may sound a bit paranoid, but if you are always on alert while driving, the chances of you preventing an accident are greater. You can never be too safe!
I am such a paranoid driver. I have driving and always freak out. I only feel comfortable driving with the Captain. All other drivers scare the crap out of me.
RE: Bikram. YES YES YES. It helps soooooooo much. When you’re running longer distances your hips and legs get so tight and sore. Bikram helps balance that out. Even your joints, etc.
I was in a bad accident in 1999 - the driver of the vehicle was fooling around and hit a patch of ice - my seat belt snapped (old vehicle) and when the vehicle flipped, I fell through the sunroof (which was intact before I hit it and it hit the ground).
I took a few weeks to recover and didn’t drive for almost a month.
I can say that just this past winter I noticed I started being more calm in the vehicle during the winter (not good living in a place that has 6 months of it)…but I stress unless I am the one driving…as poor as that sounds.
I would say it took me almost 10 years to get over it…but it WAS pretty scary!!!
I’m going through something similar. A few weeks ago my boyfriend almost - he didn’t but almost - rear-ended another car because the car was stopping and he was still going pretty fast down this street near where he lives. I had yell “Slow down!” but it was too late and he had to swerve around the other car, and it was very scary.
Now whenever he’s driving and cars are slowing up ahead, I always panic that he’s not going to slow down. He hates it because he’s a perfectly good driver, paying attention, nothing’s going to happen, but I still freak out. So… yeah. No idea when it’ll go away. Hopefully soon.
My husband is an excellent driver, but I still get nervous when I’m the passenger. Especially at intersections! (And I’ve never been in an accident *knock on wood*)
This year for no particular reason I started getting really freaked out when other people drive me around too. Except that I don’t have the excuse of having been in an accident. I didn’t drive for 10 months while I lived in the dorms at school, and once I started driving again it all seemed so foreign. It’s almost been a year and I’m still not back to driving unafraid. Maybe we’re just getting older and realizing that being in a car does not make us invinceable, hah.
~Amanda
In general I don’t really enjoy driving. Whenever we’re together I make the boy drive, which is just fine by him.
My sister and mom have both been in accidents that have really made them scared drivers. I would never say this to them, but I think their new driving timidity has made them worse drivers. They don’t drive aggressively enough. I don’t have personal experience with this, but I’m guessing that if you try to face your fears, it will get easier. It might just get easier the more you drive.
Hey!
I just found your blog!
I def. know what you mean, my boy is an excellent driver but I have been in so many car accidents (not even benig the driver) that I am soo jumpy in a car, always afraid someone is going to smash into me again!!!!
I’m working on not gasping or jumping when the boy drives though, it drives him crazy!