For the last week and a half I’ve been working in a small office with three other people. Two middle-aged men, and one of the middle-aged men’s wife.
Why do spouses even bother trying to work together? It never seems to end well.
Most of the day I listen to the two of them bickering. She gives him a report to look over, he corrects her grammar, she gets mad at him for correcting her grammar because she wasn’t asking him to look for “semantics”, they bicker and snap at each other. End scene. An hour later; it starts all over again.
They are constantly interrupting one another.
“______ will you let me finish my sentence!”
Or
“I’m leaving. You never listen to me so I’m just going to leave.”
Two sentences I hear multiple times a day!
I have to say, I don’t think working with my significant other would work for me. Eric and I have done long-distance, we’ve done going to school together and seeing each other pretty much all day, everyday, and we’ve done living together while working separate jobs during the day. I have to say, the latter works the best for us.
The more we see of each other the more we bicker, the less we see of each other the more we bicker. But, when there’s that perfect balance, where we live together but have separate daytime lives, we get along fabulously.
I don’t know, maybe it’s just me, but isn’t seeing someone when you wake up, all day at work and then after work too much? It doesn’t leave any room to miss that person, or think about them. They’re always right. there.
Thank god I only have four days left and then it’s back to Kamloops, where it’s warm. FYI: It was snowing in Fort St. John when I woke up yesterday morning.
So, what do you guy’s think? Do you/would you work with your significant other?
PS: Speaking of spouses working together, what’d everybody think of Grey’s last night? It was sad, but… I’m just not feeling it anymore. An episode like last night would have made me bawl a month ago and yesterday I barely shed a tear. Lately, I’ve been looking forward to Desperate Housewives and Brothers and Sisters way more than Grey’s.
{ 22 comments… read them below or add one }
I think it’s good to have a break sometimes. You need to have time miss your significant other, or else you’ll start to take them for granted.
I met my husband at work, and we worked together for some time. It was great, although we were in bigger offices (newsrooms) so we weren’t necessarily interacting all that much.
I have to say, though, that we’re not big bickerers, not like the people in your office. I don’t think I’ve *ever* said, “Will you let me finish a sentence” of “You don’t listen to me.”
my parents owned a business together. and i think it overall went smoothly. i never really saw them fight that much at work.
Now they’re both retired. they still pretty much spend 24/7. I think hector and i would kill each other if we spent that much time with each other.
Man I would hate working with the BF. It would just be too much time for us to bicker about stupid things. It’s way better seeing him in a non-professional environment!
I love my husband more than I could possibly say…we have been together about 9 years and I don’t think we EVER bicker like what you wrote above!!! I couldn’t imagine being THAT nit picky!
However, I like having separate work lives because that is usually our dinner talk in the evenings, we bounce ideas of each other or vent if need be…it’s just nice to have an objective opinion (and I will say objective because he tells me when I am in the wrong - not in a bad way!!)
And if we have long periods of time off together we usually get along the best!!! But if we don’t spend any time THAT’s when we start getting cranky and bicker a little - sounds backwards right???
separation is key, especially after you've been together for a few years. kelley and i worked together as temps for 9 months, we even shared the same side of the conference room table without even a cubicle divider between us. It was great, but it was also within the first 2 years of marriage.
Now (10 years of marriage) I can barely stand having her & kids upstairs. Some days it makes me want to take an office job again so I'll have a valid excuse to get away. separate is surely better when you're not newleyweds.
Well, I met my husband at the office. We kept our dating a secret for awhile because he was at a higher level than me (me a lowly receptionist–hee), but eventually we went “public”. Within a year though I had found another job because living together/working together = too much. I needed to do my own thing, have my own separate office to go to. I needed a different set of co-workers. By the time we got married in 2002, I was very much ensconced in a new work environment–very far away from the world of finance and Eric!
I agree with you. Time to miss each other, to do stuff on your own and realize that they would Just LOVE what you are doing is essential. Irish and I see each other several times a week but most of that time we are on double dates, with family and etc. I crave and look forwad to the nights where it’s just the two of us. I also realize that doing our own thing is totally necessary for us. I don’t know how working with him would be… I would be nervous all the time. In a good way, of course =)
My parents worked together for something like 15-20 years. It seemed to work for them.
Lucas and I worked at the same resort last summer. It was fun for the 4 months we did it, but I don’t think I could handle working in close quarters with him on a long-term basis. I mean really, spending all of your time with one person would drive anyone nuts!
I completely agree that everyone needs some time to miss each other. It definitely works for some people, but I like being able to come home at the end of the day and have things to tell my boyfriend without him already knowing all the punchlines.
Grey’s will get better! I feel it! (and hope…lol). I remember those first 2 seasons…they were AMAZING!
I have to admit…it could change when we get older, but for now, John and I work SO well together! I wish we could write exams together, we just make an amazing team
It might change though when we get old and grumpy 
Nathan and I bicker at each other way too much, we just have different ways of working. I don’t think we could every work together, though I do love seeing him AFTER I’m done with work
There’s just a huge difference between relaxing with someone and working with them, I think.
~Amanda
Ew, that would totally suck! I was just talking to a coworker yest about how it wouldn’t be good to work with a spouse bc you’d see them all the time and it would take the fun out of the relationship.
Plus, it’s good to keep work and home life a bit separate.
I'm with you. Couples should not work together. dating or married. I guess some can do it and get along and not annoy other people (ha!) by bringing their relationship into the workplace, but that's pretty rare. and I agree that when you are with someone all the time, it is hard to miss them and you do bicker more. having separate "daytime lives" like you said is healthy and pretty much necessary I think for making a relationship work– at least in the long run.
for me personally, I know that if I worked with my bf I would end up being like those people at your office! I would soo be correcting his grammar! haha.
as for grey's, I haven't been watching. I've been out of the loop so long I don't even know what is going on anymore! but I am loving Desperate and B&S.
Oh, I don’t think I could work with my husband. Or rather, I’m not sure he would want to work with me. The few times he’s tried helping me with my school work didn’t go overly well, so I imagine working together wouldn’t be much better.
i need the space would never work with a boy/f or husband, i did the inter-office dating once and tht didn’t work so best to keep work and personal seperate.
i loved last nights Greys (i cheat and watch online cos i cannot wait for it to come to UK tv 5 episodes later)i cried like a baby when tht sick kid told her dad she were tired but then again i CRY at everything
I don’t think I would like it. Seeing each other before and after work, then on days off is enough! Working together just spells disaster to me!
Greys has definitely been losing is sizzle lately. I kept help but wonder what is going to happen to Izzie though! Is she getting killed off, is she not? I will keep watching to find out!!
I don't think I'd be able to work with my bf. In grad school we took classes together, and that really only worked because I had almost no idea what was going on, and he pretty much helped me pass.
I really liked Grey's last night. I think maybe because more of the show focused on Meredith than normal? And while I'm really liking B&S lately, I've haven't been quite feeling DH
My uncle split up with one of his wives after working in the same office for a while.
He sardonically noted, “After you talk about the weather, what else is there to say?”
Chris Rock also has a routine about this, where he suggests a wife asking, “Do you remember the time…”, and the husband snaps, “Of course I remember the time! I was there! Why don’t you go get kidnapped and let something new happen to you!”
So, in a word, no.
I work with my husband, he’s a manager in my business for the past 7 years, we’ve been married almost 20. He’s really great at his job and it’s good for our relationship because I respect him so much, and he understands when I’m stressed or distracted. We don’t work right on top of each other but it’s rare for bickering to happen. At home we do our own things, sports and such, so it works for us.
Brilliant post. Yeah, my boyfriend and I being the computer scientists that we are totally are looking forward to eventually working either at a school or a lab together. How awesome! I’ll probably get to yell at him in public at meeting
haha!
me and P work at the same place, however, rarely together. we have opposite schedules and we are in completely different areas of the restaurant, so i don’t know if it counts. we have, however, worked at the same time. it was tricky at moments, especially because we depended so much on eachother. in any restaurant there is some sort of animosity between the front of house (servers) and back of house (kitchen) no matter how little. we had to battle thru that initially, griping about eachothers jobs, coworkers, friends and responsibilities. who had it easier? who deserved more money, etc. it was difficult. which is why our schedules are now back to opposite. it works better.
pst. i too cannot WAIT for sunday night shows this week. i can’t tell if its the carmel appletinis the roommate and i make or the shows are really getting better.
oh and thanks for finding me! love your blog