When I was younger I thought that security wasn’t important to me. Whenever I’d take online surveys or fill out questionnaires, I’d rate security as being much less important than adventure or fun. I didn’t want to grow up and need security, I wanted to be the person who could travel the world and move from city to city at the drop of the hat.
I was always kidding myself.
I have friends that hate our hometown. They grew up their, lived their whole lives there and then left, never wanting to go back. I thought that might be me one day too. I always complained about how much I hated the place. It was too small of a town, there was nothing to do, everyone knows everyone, life would be SO much better if I just didn’t live in FSJ.
I’ve since lived in two other cities, Grande Prairie and Kamloops, and learned that it’s not much different. I haven’t found whatever it was I was looking for.
The experience of moving away and meeting new people and doing new things has been really important for shaping who I am, but I know where home is and deep down I know I’ll go back there one day.
It’s secure to be in a place where you know people. Where you have family scattered throughout the town and half-a-dozen friends in your phone that you could call at the drop of a hat.
It’s a nice feeling, a secure feeling, a feeling I used to run from.
Whenever I spend any amount of time at home, I find myself super busy because I want to see and hang out with everyone. I stretch myself thin and always end up feeling exhausted when I come home…home? See, that’s the thing, I refer to everywhere as “home”.
When I went to FSJ last week I kept saying, “I’m going home for a few days”. When I came back to Kamloops I would say to people, “I fly home on Sunday night”. It’s a term I toss around a lot. I think I consider my apartment in Kamloops, with Webster and Eric “home” but I don’t know if I really consider the city home.
I do know I had a fantastic visit at home in FSJ. I didn’t want to come back to Kamloops and leave that feeling of security.
What do you consider “home”? Do you miss your hometown or wherever you’re from or do you still live there now? Do you want to move away from “home” someday or back “home”?
{ 13 comments… read them below or add one }
I really love this post. I love starting my day off with a question that is so true to I think all of our lives like this….and I am SO in the same boat as you. Security sounds like something you don’t really think a/b until you’re “older”, but I learned very quickly when I was so fast to move to Cali for school that I would miss the Minnesota Nice more than I knew. It’s not about being homesick, it’s just realizing you appreciate where the people you love live. I will move all over as I plan…but eventually I KNOW i’ll come back to raise a family.
well, i grew up here, moved to north carolina for about 6 years, then came back. i hit a few other towns nearby for a few years before moving about 5 miles from the house i grew up in.
now (and now that i have kids) i remember why i wanted to leave in the first place. most of my friends from NC live about 5 hours away from here. we’re trying to move up there now, but it’s not an easy process. enjoy the flexibility while you have it. once you go home again (for good) and settle down, put down some roots, it can be incredibly hard to leave.
I would love to move away from home (StL) for at least a year or so. And then move back.
When I went to college, I called that my home as I was there for three and a half years.
When I go to my parents house (they live in StL), I say I’m going home. When I leave their house to go to my apartment, I tell them I’m going home.
I suppose I also use the term loosely! And like you, when I came home from college back to StL I always spread myself thin. I went back to my college town utterly exhausted.
Hope you had fun, though!
I Consider Home to be Kamloops!!! Sometimes when im out and about I refer to GP as home, but really, who am I kidding, Its a temporary home, till I find out where I can hang my hat for good, and down the road, many moons from now, I would love it to be Kamloops!!!! I miss K-Loops alot, mostly the memories and familiar faces, Some of which I could care less if I ever seen again. The ones that mean the Most I miss terribly!!!ESPECIALLY ONES THAT HAVE MOVED THERE !!!!
Im looking forward to being Closer to home in the next few months!!
I throw around the term home a lot too. I consider “home” both at my parent’s house and my house in college so when explaining plans to people, I often confuse them when I call both places home. I think I need to do some renaming.
I think that home is where your heart is. Where ever you are, if you are happy, that is where home should be. Home is not a place, its a feeling, and like you said, security, familiar faces, and family. I moved to Regina where I knew one person. And this is home. But when I go back to BC to visit my family, that is home too, because that is where i have my childhood memories, those happy, sad, frustrated with parents feeling.
The place you live is only as good as you make it.
BAHAHAHA the wonders of FSJ!!! LOL I moved from there seven years ago and never looked back. I know for sure I will never move back. I call Calgary home now but I know my second “home” will always be my parents place in Cecil Lake, I’m quite certain they will never move out of Cecil Lake. I like going home to visit but hell if I’ll ever move back…loll not that its terrible, but its just not for me anymore.
Amber do you think you would feel differently if you moved back to FSJ permanently apposed to just visiting?? You moved to GP and Kamloops for school, I moved to Calgary to live and then planned on going to school, just curious if there’s a difference. For me visiting is a little more exciting sometimes then having something permanent.
Katrina
This is one of my favorite posts so far. I only live 45 minutes away from where I used to live, but I don’t consider that “home”. My dad moved from our old apartment into a big house with his girlfriend and to me, that house doesn’t feel homey. Neither do I consider my dinky apartment “home” either. So right now I’m sort of homeless, house-wise anyway. But I consider both cities (Columbus where I live now and the town I grew up in) as homes to me. So city-wise I’ve got two homes
And to be honest, I’m not sure where I’ll end up in the future. I can make just about any place feel like home, so I guess I’m lucky in that respect. I think my issue right now is that I live alone, and home isn’t really home without a family. So maybe if I move in with someone some day, it will feel like home no matter where it is.
~Amanda
http://onehappypanda.blogspot.com
My home is in Philadelphia. When I went to school in NY, I never felt at home. I’m so obsessed with my town and my family and I can’t imagine leaving (though I know I will at some point)
I still consider home back where my parents live in California. But I haven’t actually lived there since 2002. I’m not sure when it will actually change
I used to feel the same way you did about “home,” or for me, Simi Valley. Small, boring town with not much to do. No big city excitement. But as I have gotten older, I am grown to love Simi, at least more than I used to. Especially now that I cover it for the paper, too. My boyfriend, who did not grow up here, hates Simi and often makes comments I don’t appreciate. Which is funny, because it wasn’t that long ago that I wanted to get far away from Simi too. Not to say that I don’t want to move on or that I will live here forever, but for now, it’s not so bad. And if I was to raise a family somewhere, Simi would be near the top of the list.
Thanks for the insightful and thought-provoking post!
It must be awesome to have a hometown. “Home” for me is wherever my parents happen to be.
Did you have a good visit home?
I think home is Vancouver to me. Even though I refer to all 3 (Toronto, Van, Australia) places as home I miss Van the most.
Australia is starting to feel like home, and I certainly love it here but I don’t know if it can ever feel as “home” to me as Canada does with its Mountains and snow and winter etc.