Girl With The Red Hair

The Monday Meeting: How to negotiate a raise

by MissAmber on February 8, 2010 · 23 comments

I had a reader request asking me to do a Monday Meeting post on negotiating a higher salary. Since I have no experience with this myself I decided to reach out to the interwebs to get some advice. Of course, they responded!

Here are a few tips that I’ve collected from around the interwebs - reader emails, tweets and online articles.

1. Be able to prove your performance

Have examples of WHY you deserve a raise. What have you done for the company lately? How are you an integral part of the companies success?

2. Write it down

Make a list of all of your accomplishments and goals. Accomplishments detail why you deserve a raise and the goals show your boss that you are goal-oriented and want to continue growing and improving in your position. Also, write down areas that you need to improve at.

It may also be helpful to have a spreadsheet to illustrate your point. Break down the number of hours you work with your salary and the hourly average to show that you should be getting more.

3. Be willing to take on more responsibility in exchange for a raise

You can’t march into your bosses office and expect a raise without giving anything back. Be willing to take on added responsibility (if you haven’t already) in exchange for this raise. Detail what that added responsibility may be!

4. Mind your manners

Be assertive and polite. Don’t make demands and respect whatever decision they make. Always thank them for their time.

5. Do your research

Know what you’re worth and don’t ask for more than they should be paying you. Research online, ask other people in the industry, find out what you should be getting paid and ask for it using the above tips. If it’s not more then you should be getting paid and you truly deserve the raise you will probably get it!

6. Be Flexible

Maybe your boss can’t offer you the raise you want but they can offer you an extra week of vacation a year or the last Friday of every month off. In some situations you need to take what you can get. If your boss wants to compromise with you then they obviously value your work and they are doing what they can even if a raise isn’t feasible at that time.

Here is another article to refer to: 10 Tips to Negotiate a decent raise.

So, readers, since I don’t have any expertise in this area I’m going to leave it up to you to fill in the blanks.

Have you ever had to negotiate a raise? If so, how did it go? Do you have any tips/suggestions? Discuss in the comments.

{ 23 comments }

Five Years

by MissAmber on February 5, 2010 · 50 comments

in amber and eric, sex and relationships

February 5, 2005 – February 5, 2006

Firsts. Head-over-heels. Love. Heartbreak. Tears. High school. Young.

February 5, 2006 – February 5, 2007

Reconciliation. Summer. Sleepovers. Camping. Moving. College. Promise Ring.

February 5, 2007 – February 5, 2008

Living together. Money. Happiness. Road Trip. Wedding. Family. Fishing. Fun.

February 5, 2008 – February 5, 2009

Plans. Moving away together. Kamloops. Loneliness. Homesickness. Unemployed. School. Webster.

February 5, 2009 – February 5, 2010

Adventure. Challenges. Choices. Long-distance. Career. Love. Phone. Webcam. Countdowns. LOVE.

“Now, I’m not going to lie to you and say it’s always been easy. We’ve had our share of tragedy and we’ve said a few things we wish we could take back. But, for the most part, we’ve been lucky because we’ve always been able to remember what made us fall in love in the first place.” – Quote from Desperate Housewives that I love and feel describes us so well.

We’ve had rough times. But we’ve stuck it out and we’ve had more good times than bad, more laughs than tears, more smiles than frowns. We’re in it together. We know that love isn’t easy, but that’s OK, because it wouldn’t be as special if it was.

Here’s to another 5, 10, 15, 20 and 50 years together.

Happy Anniversary, Eric. I love you. Very much. XO

{ 50 comments }

Taking a look forward

by MissAmber on February 4, 2010 · 27 comments

in TV, happiness, school, weekend

Whew!!

Yesterday’s discussion was intense. There were some great conversation and comments happening though. It actually ended up going a little bit more into religion then I meant it to.

I have a post about religion and what I believe brewing around in my head, I just need to find the time to put it down into a post in an articulate manner. Those kinds of posts can be hard to write!

Anyways, moving on. I thought we’d go with a little bit of a lighter topic for today.

{My planne screams at me every time I open it. I swear!}

Life has been kicking my butt, lately. Seriously, someone remind me why I thought it would be a good idea to take on three part-time jobs + freelancing + a full-time course load + training for a half-marathon. Anyone? Someone slap me next time I try to do that, OK!?

So I was browsing through my old posts the other day looking for something and I stumbled on this post where I wrote about the things I was looking forward to in the next day, week, month and year. I thought it would be fun to do it again!

In the next day, I am looking forward to watching Grey’s Anatomy tonight and tomorrow being Friday. The weekend is here again already, hurray!

In the next week, I am looking forward to getting some big assignments done and handed in next week and the fact that I only have one more week of classes left before reading break! I’m also looking forward to going out this weekend. I haven’t gone out-out in forever.

In the next month, I am looking forward to going home on February, 17! SO MUCH! It’ll have been 6 weeks since I last saw Eric, which is the longest we’ve gone without seeing each other EVER. I am also looking forward to moving into my new apartment on March 1! More on that next week…

In the next year, I am looking forward to graduating university, going to Europe, starting my career, training for and running a marathon, meeting blog friends. There are so many things I’m looking forward to in the next year! Can the next year just happen already, please and thank you!

What are you looking forward to in the next day, week, month and year?

{ 27 comments }

Love, Fate, Choices, Soul Mates and Coincidence

by MissAmber on February 3, 2010 · 57 comments

in amber and eric, happiness, long distance relationships, opinion, sex and relationships

If you want, become a fan of Girl with the Red Hair on Facebook!

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I’m actually really glad that I didn’t have it in me to write this post on Monday night because yesterday’s Ten on Tuesday questions - and all the comments - inspired a lot of this post.

Is it fate that I waited to write this post today and that the Ten on Tuesday questions inspired me? No, it’s a coincidence.

If you missed yesterday’s post, basically one of the questions was “Do you believe in fate?” And my answer was:

Nope. I believe that things happen because of choices we make, not because they were “meant to be”. I also believe that sometimes bad things happen simply because someone is in the wrong place at the wrong time.

A few people mentioned meeting their significant other and how it was fate that they met each other when they did and if one or two things hadn’t happened the way they did then they may not have ever met their significant other.

I don’t think that’s fate. I think it’s a coincidence.

For example, in the first year that Eric and I were dating we were very on-and-off. At one point, we hadn’t spoken for almost a month and were both moving on from each other. One day I went to the bank to deposit a cheque. Well, who would be in line at the bank that day but Eric.

Was it “fate” that brought me to the bank that day? No, it was the fact that I was on the way to the gym and the bank was there. It was pure coincidence. If we hadn’t ran into each other that day and started talking again who knows where we’d be today. But my point is I don’t believe that was fate, I believe it was a very lucky coincidence.

Now, I’m going to go into the topic of soul mates and love, which is the deep topic I was originally pondering the other day.

Lately, I’ve heard a lot about friends/bloggers/people I know ending their relationship. In some cases, it’s people who have been together for a long time and on their surface they seem to have a very good, happy and healthy relationship.

Obviously, not everything is the way it appears, so just because I think these people have a wonderful relationship doesn’t mean all truly is wonderful.

But here’s my internal dilemma: I bet to all of you, Eric and I have a wonderful relationship. I rarely, if ever, write about our problems. But that’s not to say we don’t have any. If we ended it, you’d probably all be very surprised (don’t worry, we are both very happy right now and have no plans to end it anytime soon).

I guess what I’ve been wondering lately, quite simply, is why us?

Why are we able to make it work when others cannot? We have our problems, too. Some that seem very daunting and difficult to overcome. We are both young with our whole lives before us. There have been times when breaking up may have been easier then staying together. But we made the choice to work through the hard times.

This is where I touch on the subject of soul mates. Do I believe that Eric is my soul mate and that there is no other person out there for me? No.

I don’t believe in soul mates.

I believe that there are probably a number of men out there that I could be perfectly happy with. Once again, this all comes back to choices, coincidence, and being in the right place at the right time.

I love Eric. A lot. A lot, a lot, a lot. So much it hurts sometimes. It’s hard to imagine that I could feel that same amount of love for anyone else. But I think if situations were different, I probably could.

Our relationship works because we make it work. The reason I don’t believe in - or particularly like - the idea of soul mates is because it makes it seem like love is fine, dandy and easy. It’s not. It takes sacrifice, it takes making hard choices and it means going through a bit of hurt.

So, to wrap this incredibly long post up, I don’t believe in fate. I don’t believe in soul mates.

I believe in coincidence and making choices.

And I believe in love. I believe that love takes hard work, sacrifice, and making tough choices. I believe that the right kind of love is worth all those things.

{ 57 comments }

Ten on Tuesday

by MissAmber on February 2, 2010 · 34 comments

in blogging, meme, pets, writing

I have some really deep posts swirling around in my head but I was having a lot of trouble articulating them in a blog post last night. Writers block, I suppose.

Anyways, I’ve decided to participate in another installment of Ten on Tuesday. I always love reading these and really need to participate more often!

1. What is your favorite travel destination spot?

Well I haven’t done too much international traveling (yet) but honestly some of the best vacations I’ve ever been on are camping in the beautiful B.C. mountains! This summer me and Eric went camping with his sister in Edgewood, BC and it was absolutely blissful. There were gorgeous lakes in between huge mountains and no cell service so it was completely relaxing. I also had an unbelievable time when I went to the spa with my mom up in Northern B.C.!

I’m sure after April/May I will have some wonderful new travel destinations to add to my list though!

2. Cats vs. Dogs.

OK, OK, I’m sure the consensus here is going to be dooggsss. And I may have said that 1.5 years ago, too. But, honestly, now that I have Webster I would pick cats any day. He is the perfect pet for me. He’s cuddly and sweet and awesome company but he’s also not to needy and I can leave him alone overnight if I want to go somewhere. It’s also not a big deal to leave him in the house all day when I’m gone for 10-12 hours! I seriously love him so much.

That being said, I definitely want to be a dog-owner one day! I want a big dog that I can run with.

3. Do you believe in fate?

4. Do you believe in karma?

So, even though I don’t believe in “fate” I do believe in Karma and getting what’s coming to you. I think that people who put bad energy into the world and who are mean to other people will get what’s coming to them!

5. Everyone has a unique laugh. Do you like yours?

Meh, it’s OK. Kind of “cack-ly” I suppose. It can also be really loud.

6. Is love really all you need?

Ooooh, this question really touches on some of the deep posts I’ve been pondering. I think that love is all you need but it’s not love for another person; it’s love for yourself and who you are. And that’s as deeply as I’ll get into it. For today anyways!

7. What’s your take on the whole 2012 scare?

Meh, again. Similar to the whole 2000 scare. I don’t really think anything of it. I do want to see the movie, though!

8. If you won a million dollars and had to give it all away, who would you give it to? (Family and friends not included.)

I would give it to charity. I would give half to the Heart and Stroke Foundation because it’s a foundation that is special to me since heart disease runs in my family. I think I would use half of the other half for animal rights groups (NOT PETA) but like the local SPCA and Humane Society and stuff. Animal cruelty pretty much reduces me to tears all the time.

With the final quarter, I would give it to some sort of organization that helps under privileged children!

9. Do you believe in God/religion/the power of prayer?

I do believe in being spiritual, in a higher power and in the power of good thoughts/positive thinking and prayer.

For the most part, I do not believe in organized religion; at least not for me and my life.

10. What New Year’s Resolution do you always make but never keep?

For the longest time it was the resolution to lose weight but then I achieved that in 2008. Since then I haven’t really made any New Year’s Resolutions!

I’m curious to know what you guys think about fate and karma? Do you believe that things are meant to be or do you believe that our choices determine who we are/where we are/where we’ll end up in life?

{ 34 comments }

Christmas Vacation Recap: Part III

January 29, 2010

Well, it’s officially been over a month since Christmas, which (ironically) means I need this post more than ever since I’m starting to really miss home. So here, is my recap of Christmas Day. Check out Part I and Part II to see some other photos from my December holiday!
Eric’s mom and my Grandma.

My brother [...]

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Olympic Torch Relay

January 28, 2010

Wow, the feedback on yesterday’s post was awesome! I had no idea you guys would find that stuff so interesting. I will definitely be doing more posts about Canada’s geography/history/politics in the future, so watch for those.
Staying on the Canada note, guess what Canada is doing in like two weeks? If you don’t know, you [...]

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A Canadian Geography Lesson

January 27, 2010

According to Google Analytics, the majority of my visitors are coming from the United States and Canada, with the United States pulling ahead by about 400 more visitors a month.
Even though Canada and the United States are neighbours and have a very similar “North American” culture, they are also very, very different.
I’m not even going [...]

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Patience, grasshopper

January 26, 2010

I am such an impatient person. When I want something I want it NOW.
After my post on Friday about needing new shoes I decided to stop at the two local running stores on my way home. One store had my shoes on for $189.99 and the other for $199.99. I don’t know WHAT I was [...]

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